Re: she's found someone already MikeB: Dave
I'm truly sorry to hear that this has happened.
And the saddest thing is there's really nothing you can do not to feel the pain you feel about this... it's normal and part of the healing process to feel this way. Picturing the one you love with someone else evokes unspeakable pain... I know.
I know this won't ease your pain, but I'll say it anyway.
I'm havin' no contact with my ex, I don't know if she's dating, I don't know if she has found someone, I just know that in December she said she wouldn't want a relationship at least for the next 8 months... but I'm not counting on that.... last week I read on a forum that she posts on that she couldn't come to this regular event she usually goes to. She wrote "Sorry I couldn't come... I was -you know- indisposed..."
-might mean nothing at all, but of course I found myself wondering whether she was on a date or with a boyfriend.... and I feel I'm going crazy not knowing...
They say ignorance is bliss, but it isn't... would you rather be left with a few hints, guessing when it's going to happen, if it has happened yet, and who it will be/is?
Find another gym or work out in another way (some way you don't need a gym for)... get a few close friends (or your best friend, preferably) over and talk to them about how you feel...
...when the shock, the pain and the feeling of losing your mind have decreased a little bit... this would be the time to find something to take your mind off things (even if only for a little while)...
(what I did was watching Frasier-Episodes, play Battlefield 2 at a LAN-party or do some of the other things I've already told you about)...
Oh Dave... I wish I could give you some helpful advice... but other than what I already wrote, I don't know any...
I also wish I had more time to talk to you about this, but term/semester starts tomorrow and hence, I'm off to Munich this evening, where I don't have an internet-connection - But I hope to have it by tuesday...
Until about 5 p.m. (my local time) I'll be here...
Hang in there!
-Mike
Re: she's found someone already sosad05: Sorry, <<<HUGS>>>>
When your x, find someone new, it is one of the most devastating feelings. When I found out that my x basically had his new girlfriend living with him and around the kids, I wanted to throw up and die. Even though I didnt want to be with him anymore, the thought of another woman sleeping with him and touching my children made me sick.
However, I can tell you with time it does get easier. You get used to it. Eventually, it doesnt bother you anymore. Its just a part of life. It makes it easier too when you've met somone new.
In my case, he met someone new WAY too soon, and I can rest assured knowing he hasnt changed and she will/and has already faced the same issues we had. It just takes time.
Re: she's found someone already Spectrum: [quote author=MikeB link=topic=28058.msg272851#msg272851 date=1145790054">
They say ignorance is bliss, but it isn't... would you rather be left with a few hints, guessing when it's going to happen, if it has happened yet, and who it will be/is?
-Mike
[/quote">
I thought the same way you did, Mike, and so do most of the people on this board at one point or another.
What you'll figure out eventually is that ignorance *is* in fact bliss when you're trying to recover from a breakup. The only reason ignorance isn't bliss initially is because we torture ourselves with all the potential alternatives.
The quicker you figure out that IT DOESN'T MATTER what the heck your ex is up to, who he/she is doing it with and why, the faster your recovery will speed itself along.
Going on a message board you know she posts on and reading her posts (even if it is a board you yourself frequented prior to the breakup) is seriously unhealthy and will only do bad things for your recovery.
LET IT GO, MAN.
And the same goes for Dave. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You have GOT to start finding a way to separate at least *part* of your life from this woman, even if you have to start something new to do it. It's extremely tough to be in a situation where you are in such close proximity to her, to her friends, to her hobbies, to her job. You're going to have to learn to bend your routine, or at some point you're going to break.
Spectrum.
Re: she's found someone already toofreshtothinkright: Spectrum,
Hearing this last bit of news has broken me. I am obviously not nearly as strong of a person as some people in this place, and for that I feel embarrased.
How do you just move on. I am frozen. Liek you said, our lives were so intertwined that it is impossible not to be rid of her.
My buddies took me out to the driving range today to hit some golf balls since it was the nicest day of the year so far.....I tried, and tears rolled down under my sunglasses because I was looking forward to playing golf with her this summer...it was something we were both excited to do together.
We were the same person spectrum and everything she liked, I liked and vice versa. I know I don;t sound like a 32 year old man, and right now I don;t feel like one and really need to know how people can get past these feelings of regret and guilt. You know the saying...go trhough life and have no regrets....well, my regret was not treating this girl the way I was feeling inside.....exuding certain feelings, yet feeling something different inside.
I really need your help guys.....the thoughts in my head are not good......
Re: she's found someone already twine: no one expects you to let go all at once, none of us here did that, even in bad relations there are shining moments that we can't forget, it is hard to move forward doing the things you enjoyed doing together but in time it will get easier, I am looking so forward to going camping with my kids this summer but at the same time I know it will be hard because we loved doing that as a family so much, everything seemed better when we were camping
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