How bad is it..... Spectrum: ... to take what you can from a person before they leave your life forever?
And NO, I'm not talking about getting pregnant.
I'm talking about just emotionally and physically.
I slept with my ex-bf last week, the one who is moving away. I found out he is actually not leaving permanently for about a month, and now I'm all confused again.
I slept with this guy, and it was like putting on a comfortable glove. Hearing him call my name during the act just made me think, "Why couldn't we ever pull things together? What was the matter with us? What was the matter with *me?"
This guy is moving, and anyway we never got along very well while we were dating. But whenever I'm with him I can't help but think of how good it is when it's really good, and wonder.
He made a joking comment to me last weekend, which was the first time I've seen him in two months: "So, are you going to move to Alabama with me?" And I couldn't think of an appropriate response that wouldn't sound bitter, so I said nothing. He was looking through some DVDs, not looking at me, and said, "I take it from your lack of response that that is a 'no.' "
I'm just sad, I guess.
Spectrum.
Re: How bad is it..... yella: [quote author=Spectrum link=topic=28075.msg272901#msg272901 date=1145817234">
... to take what you can from a person before they leave your life forever?
I'm talking about just emotionally and physically.
[/quote">
Just emotionally and physically? Isn't that enough?
Are you talking about taking it all from him, or him taking it all from you?
I guess either way, it's pretty bad. I've had that happen to me, ok, I let that happen to me way too many times and I'm all done with it.
If he didn't look you in the eye when he asked you that, why would you answer him? I sure as hell wouldn't. But that's just me... now. :-\
Re: How bad is it..... Lumpy: From your musings it seems to me that there was only one aspect of your relationship that was good. Or am I mixing up b/fs here?
Re: How bad is it..... YellowJacket: When I was younger, dating and relationships to me were always very black and white. It was always about finding that one person that you could be with forever. The woman either fit that role or didn't.
Now that the term "forever" just illicits a smirk, things are different for me. Finding someone to be with permanently is one of the options. It's certainly a good one but not the only one. If the two of you have a great time here and there but aren't made to be the perfect couple forever, it can still be a great thing as long as you're both honest about what you want and both okay with the situation.
I know it gets a connotation of "using" each other and you used the word "take" but I don't think it needs to be a negative. Another way of looking at it is -- we weren't a perfect fit but we shared what we were able.
Re: How bad is it..... Spectrum: Honestly, there were *no* aspects that were consistently good- just aspects that were good more often than others, some of which were rarely good.
How's that for some muddy water?
In any case, I guess it doesn't matter since he's moving in a few weeks. :p
Spectrum.
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