My Boys Wandered Off startingover: The ex came over for our weekly excursion to the grocery store. Taking two autistic boys out into public is almost an impossible job on your own, so to expose the boys to the public we go together.
Somehow the older boy let him and his younger brother out of the house while I was putting my shoes on & the ex was checking his e-mails. We both were in the same room & the front door was within site of both of us.
I told R it was time to go & she asked us were the boys were. Within seconds the three of us were scattered calling both boys. B appeared from the side of the house, but no J.
I got R & B in the house and called 911 while the ex continued to search for the youngest who was still no where to be found. The ex and I continued to search for the youngest while waiting for the police to show up when I heard the sweetest words ever. Faintly I heard the ex yell he had found him even though I was at the opposite end of the block.
He had been 3 doors down playing in the neighbor's side yard. When I got there he was rolling a toy truck back and forth in the dirt.
About the time we got back to the house the police showed up. Three squad cars in all in search of one 4 year old boy who doesn't speak. About this time I was in the middle of loosing it while the first officer on the scene was busy interrogating us both on neglect. The ex took charge of that situation & got in under control while keeping me from collapsing on the front lawn while the whole neighborhood watched.
It's been over 2 hours since this happened & I still haven't stopped shaking. My stomach and chest hurts.
Re: My Boys Wandered Off toolboy: Well this is it, you all know now who the ex's are. We got the scace of our lives, both boys missing outside of the house. As a couple and indivuidally we have been scared of this. 21/2 years ago the oldest boy let himself out his bedroom window in the dead of winter. 2 ft of snow on the ground, barefoot and in PJ's, 18 degrees outside. He was in his room for the night and it took me about an hour to discover he was gone. These are times of sheer panic, today both boys, the oldest let them both out so quietly we never heard the door open or close, we were in the same room.
I keep a close eye on both of them when I am there but the oldest has stealth built into him. He is quiet and knows when to make his move.
The first cop to show up grilled me about neglect (where were you) pisses me off, they have no idea how hard it can be. The state routinaly ask us if we want to give them over. The answer from both of us, without hesitation, is no. I have a bigger bond here than just my declined marriage, the welfare of these kids. My daughter, bless her heart, remained calm and helpful.
Thank you God we found them in time.
Toolboy
Re: My Boys Wandered Off superwife: All I can say is than God your story had a happy ending. :)
I used to be the most judgmental person, until I had a child of my own.... and I sneer at all those who are as judgmental as I was. I am a pediatric nurse, so I've seen a lot of accidents...and that's what they are. Even with a normal-functioning child, it only takes a blink of an eye for something to happen. I've seen it all, form near-drownings (which IMO weren't near- they were really near deaths, or resuscitated kids) to a father running over his own child, kids falling out of windows.
The best, of course, was my own kid (thank God not a big deal, but stressful for me, of course). In the span of two weeks she had fallen from a play-gym at McDonalds, and hurt her wrist (not broken). Daddy was on his way over (due at my house in 10 minutes), so I waitied fr him. He was livid (but he's also a prick). 10 days later, she tripped in my housed and smashed her hand into the curio cabinet, chipped a bone in her finger.
While I can't completely relate, all I can say is I can't imagine how traumatic that must have been.
Re: My Boys Wandered Off twine: toolboy and startingover, thank god everything ended well today, it must be so hard raising disabled children i respect and admire both of you for it, I also respect the fact that you both can use this site, i think it says alot for the respect you still have for each other, the marriage may be over but hopefully you can remain friends and still raise your children as close as together with not been together can get.....Just wondering if you have ever thought of an alarm on the doors and windows that would alert you if they were trying to leave the house, might be a pain in the @ss but also could well be worth it.
Your friend twine
Re: My Boys Wandered Off startingover: I have a set of door alarms that were purchased for the last house we were in. I have been living in HUD housing for the last year & just recently got the approval for the door and window alarms. The catch is that TB has to put them in and take full responsibility for the installation. There is a flipper lock on the door, it just wasn't latched when B let him and his brother out.
TB's got several locks and shelves to install for me, just waiting for him to have the time to install them. I know how to use a screw gun, but am afraid to damage the doors and have to pay the exorbitant damages. Toolboy is more adapt at that sort of thing.
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