My mind can't stop dcjr45: I work at night and I'm here by myself tonight with not too many people to talk to. These are the hardest times for me and I already catch my self having painful thoughts of her and it's driving me crazy. Anytime I'm by myself I have a real hard time keeping my mind in "check". It starts to wonder and start thinking of all these hurtful things and sometimes I can't stop it. It's almost like when a negative thought enters my mind, I actually want to continue to think about it and get really pissed off or upset instead of trying to think of something else. we've been separated for about 8 mos and divorced for 1 1/2. We have two kids who we have joint everything with so I see/talk to her alot. Yet this "wacko" coninues to lie to me about "friends" and stuff and it drives me crazy. Then when I'm by myself I start to dwell on all this stuff and get really mad or upset. Your're divorced, which means your single. Why does she still lie to me? and whe do I give a shit. I just recently decided to do my best of a no contact type thing. Communication is strictly email and when we drop off the kids I make sure I'm not there when she comes or use my parents to help out with that. Ever since she left she doesn't know what it's like not to talk to me, and not to see me. I always try to be nice but then I think of some of the things she's done or still doing and then I get pissed off and yell. It's almost like she does this shit on purpose. She got what she wanted, a divorce yet she still wants to lie. How do I alwasy stop thinking about this and keep myself from getting so mad or upset.?
Re: My mind can't stop corkscrew: Post your negative thoughts and feelings about her on Ojar. The more you verbalize your thoughts and give them voice, the less time you will spend trying to wrap your mind around the thoughts. The goal is to eventually feel like you've said everything you want to say even though you've never really said a word.
My ex is a frustration to me in spite of the fact that like you, I have managed to minimalize my contact with him. However, the interactions I do have with him are exasperating. The lies, the games, the bullying. I get so very tired of having to cope with him. Some exes go out of their way to ensure that you can never really get past your relationship with them.
Best of luck.
