Re: Numb (But not comfortablly) YellowJacket: Lance, I can completely understand where you are coming from on the effort issue. I did all of the work in my marriage as well. Being with someone that did so little and having to do so much myself left me drained. I'm not dating right now and one of the reasons is that I don't feel like I have am willing to make the amount of effort that I think I should for someone else.
So I have no answers for you on the point either. I am expecting in my own case that it will simply take time. I would suspect the same in yours.
You seem to have a very good head on your shoulders. I admire how you are able to take this horrible situation that you've been through and yet you still have an excellent perspective on its place in your life. Maybe it's because you said you still try but reading your two posts something makes me very confident that you will pull yourself out of this low. You realize that people did enjoy being around you when you were sociable. That will come back to you and that confidence will attract women.
Keep posting on OJar. It really helps even when you might not feel like you have something new to say.
Re: Numb (But not comfortablly) Older Guy: IMO.................dating would be pointless for you right now. I know you said that you don't want to hear it but you really do have to live for yourself and be a happy person with who you are. If you're able to cross that bridge you will be someone that people enjoy being with.
You can;t live just to make someone else happy and you can;t depend on someone else to make you happy.
I know what you're going through is difficult but fixing yourself and being happy with yourself may just hold the key to being a better and more pleasurable partner with someone once you're ready for it.
OG
