Re: AT WITS END tomuchpain: The eating will come with time. I went almost 2 weeks on nothing more than a couple of sunflower seeds and yerba mate. After about 2 weeks and me moving out did my appetite finally start to come back. Its not anywhere near where it used to be but at least I am eating again. Its hard to eat when your heart has been ripped out, stomped on and your stomach is turned inside out. Just give it sometime and it will come back.
In the mean time drink pleanty of water and take some vitimins it will help keep you healthy until you are ready to eat again.
As for the no contact I believe that you should tell her everything that you feel she needs to hear and then once you both know exactly how each other feels then give each other some time apart. I know that it is hard to let go of something you love so much but it really is what is best for both of you.
I am not going to lie to you the next week or so is going to be a rollercoaster of a ride for you emotions. So you have to stay strong and continue to lean on ojar. Ojar will give you the support you need and a forum to vent your frustrations. It has been invaluable to me and I know that I would be in a much worse position if not for ojar.
AT WITS END setanta: SLEEPLESS AND HUNGRY
Firstly I AM NEW HERE.......AND i FEEL FOR EVERYBODY ON HERE.........
I am just in the early stages of grieving....day 8 to be exact...have hardly eaten or slept in that time.......I have stupidly sent my ex 5 emails saying how much I love her and want her in my life and how things wud be better this time I want her back so badly........
I know I need a period of no contact......we have broke up in the past on about 4 occasions in 3 years , always getting back together......Difference now is she is seeing someone else .....I mean I cant fathom that , this guy is an exact opposite to me, she is obviously rebounding...........
As of today I am gonna try my best to have 30 days no contact.......but if I DONT EAT and get some sleep soon I KNOW i WILL GET SERIOUSLY ILL......
Why oh Why is it so painful...........after all it was a mutual break and we used to argue like cats and dogs......But I want her back so much.....I cant even look at another woman....hell I can even get aroused...and believe me for me thats an absolute shock ......
I cant work ,do anything except read online post s and articles about what IS THE PAIN OF LOSS.........I have never yet had a close bereavement in my family yet , apart from my Granma who lived a long life...bless her....
But now I feel like a close family member has died....
Please help anybody
Re: AT WITS END ezydriver: Hi. What you've wrote (everything, even not having a bereavement yet) relates to what I went through last November. Funnily enough it never affected my sleep which I found very odd. Anyway, after 8 days I was a wreck. It took me 2 months until I had my first day with no tears. I went through chronic depression, panic attacks, you name it. However, you should be able to monitor your progress on a weekly basis. Its slow but this time next week you'll be slightly more healed. It may take months which seems like an eternity right now.
I definitely definitely recommend no contact. I did this. I never wrote any such letters asking for her back or telling her how much I loved her. It took 3 months, but she got in contact and now we've been seeing each other for just over 2 months. It seems to be going ok but at a much slower pace than before.
Give her time. Completely stay away. Don't torture yourself by contacting her. If you leave it long enough, she may just wonder what you're doing and contact you. Especially if this rebound guy turns out to be a jerk.
Regards.
Re: AT WITS END Older Guy: "All" the things that you are going throguh are perfectly normal in your situation.
Hang in there and you will get through this. Your best bet is to break all contact and see what happens.
OG
Re: AT WITS END setanta: Ezy Driver
Glad to hear you and your ex got back together....I said today I would not contact her...but she did write back to my emails...basically saying she could not take another chance.....(SEE MY OTHER THREAD)
The problem with us taking it easy is..basically we live together have done for 3 yrs......she lives in UK.....I live in Ireland.....if she comes back to me...we go straight into living together again...........so its gonna take a lot to get her back this I know....
Thx
