Does this relationship stand a chance? lcat: Hi
Been divorced a while now and am dating someone who is in a similar situation to me.
I didn't intend to but I have fallen for this person, we started out as friends.
The difficult thing is that my new 'friend' still has a lot of emotional hang-ups about their ex. Has fears about letting go emotionally and physically with me because past treament. Gets really upset sometimes over small things because the ex was so cruel.
I really really care but don't think it is fair to be compared and sometimes judged by the ex partners behavour. My 'friend' needs to realise I am not that person.
Scared that if my 'friend' can't let go of the past our relationship won't ever have a chance of working.
What do you think?
lcat
Re: Does this relationship stand a chance? no date: hey your picture! now where have i seen that before??
Re: Does this relationship stand a chance? lcat: no date
You like the picture? Obviously I do! Funny little kitten like me!!
Got any advice for me?? Sure could use some help.
Had enough of relationships going wrong.
lcat
Re: Does this relationship stand a chance? 2be: The way you state as it stands now, I don't think it will work. He is still to scarred to uphold his end of a successful relationship. He is in a period of having to find "himself" again. He may become dependent upon you to help him get through it all... and then 1 year from now when he's healed, you won't be what he wants.
He needs to find himself again, and be comfortable with that. Once he is comfortable with himself and where he is at, then he needs to think about what kind of person he wants as a partner... and then go seek it. If he is comparing you in ANY way to his ex.... nope... that's a bad sign. He's not over her yet.
Right now he is a mess of confusing emotions, and the best thing for you to be is a friend. If you have feelings for him, you can't help that. But you need to give hime the time and space needed so he can heal. Otherwise you'll both get hurt again.
Best of luck...
Re: Does this relationship stand a chance? shockedandamazed: Yeah - don't do it if at all possible. I was in a similiar situation, fell head over heels for the guy, and he was not emotionally ready for more than what we had....lesson learned. ALMOST over him! It's been almost 2 months.
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