I need an ear... EssieDotCom: I just don't know how to feel. I gave him 6 months b4 we seperated to see what he was doing, i tried hard to convience him to go to couseling with me but he refused. I cried and begged him until my face was beat red with tears while he sat there emotionless and just looked @ me. I even begged him enough so he gave in to the idea of the kids and i staying there and i gave that two weeks. Well, as most of you know, nothing changed. He didn't stop his gaming habits, i still went to bed alone, he still spent all his free time with his game, what little time he was at home. So i said ENOUGH and I took the kids and moved out. He even got a moving truck and helped us move up here. After we got here, I was still in the mode to beg and cry and plead with him, and still nothing. Then i broke communicaton with him unless it was about the kids and started on a path to "building my walls". Then he came up here for christmas and we got in a big argument on christmas night, and he told me he didnt want me to be his wife anymore. So then after I cried my eyes out I worked on building my walls even higher, and 4 months after christmas, he's out on the ship and he gets in trouble with work and has more time to think. Since he wouldnt give himself time to think about anything he'd done or said b4 that, it hit him hard. Which brings me to where I am now. I was starting to live my life and in a "happy" zone, and he says "Well i want to work things out now." Well, how do I feel.. I feel like it's too late, but on the other hand I do love him. But my life was getting happy and im just not ready to break down my walls to have him do this to me all over again! He's out on the ship now for 6 months and he keeps emailing me and I'm insanily ignoring him. I honestly don't know how to feel. I don't think after all i've been through that i can go back to my begging, crying, self again. I've become to strong! I just dont know how to feel?!
Re: I need an ear... walkingzombie: so do you think he really wants to work things out? or do you think he's doing this bc you've moved on-
sometimes people want you because you don't want them anymore, but that's their ego talking, their security blanket has been taken from underneath them.
Re: I need an ear... EssieDotCom: I think that might be a part of it; i asked him if he was doing this bc of jealousy and he said no but i don't really believe it. He makes the statement "You're still my wife" a lot, like i'm something that "Belongs" to him other than a woman with feelings.
Re: I need an ear... tomuchpain: Trust your heart and listen to what it says.
Re: I need an ear... 2be: In my opinion, the "leaver" (which is what he is) always goes through that point when reality hits and fully understand that the security blanket is no longer there... and they truly are alone. Happened to me. Sometimes that is enough for the leaver to amend their ways and make things work again.
Other times, they come back and instantly fall into their old habits again. I'm not sure what to tell you, really because it is a decision of the heart. But I think you two still need time apart so he can really understand himself and what he has done.
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