Re: I need an ear... EssieDotCom: b4 i sent to see him in SC he told me He'd changed. so when i was there i asked "you said you changed how" and his answer was "well i guess i'm less of a stubborn @$$hole". can you belive that what kind of answer or change is this?!
Re: I need an ear... tomuchpain: It sounds like he regrets his decision to leave you but still can not express to you how he feels. If he really did change then why is he not shouting it from the roof tops and showing you that he has not just telling you. An answer like "well I guess I'm less of a stubborn @$$hole" is neither of those.
My advice to you would be if you really want him back because you do love him then ask him to go to counsiling again both with you and by himself. I think that it would really help him. If he says no again then you should consider moving on because in my mind if he really wants you back then he would do anything to get you back including going to counsiling. I wish you the best.
Re: I need an ear... YellowJacket: I wouldn't believe a word he says about changing. As long as he wants something from you, he's going to frame himself in the best possible light to get it. He will tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear.
That's not to say that he hasn't changed, just that his words on the matter are worth nothing. If you do get involved with him again, take it very slowly. Wait and see how he behaves over time. Make him earn his way back. It's easy to say the right things and be a good person for a few weeks.
Re: I need an ear... Annie: My ex has always been computer games addict. I think, I didn't realize how bad it was until we got married and started living together. Then, Everquest entered our lives and I was out. First, I couldn't comprehend WHY he preferred the game to me. That was beyond me. Still is. What I did understand was that I cannot compete with something that doesn't even have a physical form. Be it another woman, i'd cope with it much easier. He stopped going to school (we both were in Grad school) or work. How can he go if he played all night long?
Computer gaming is a "new-age" addiction. And addiction is an addiction. There is no real cure for that. Your husband says, he changed. Do you really believe in that? Or will he start playing another game again? Do you want to go through all this again? In my case it was easy. We didn't have kids. When I realized that no amount of pleading, asking, crying or threatening will do, I just left. The divorce was easy, I don't think it even interrupted his "raiding night".
You have kids to think about. I cannot tell you to stay away from him, although I'd like to. Just make sure it's really what you want and what's best for the kids. Because, you know, it's also beyond them why daddy is playing on the computer instead of spending a bit of time with them. Make sure he really changed and wants to work things out. Maybe he just fell on hard times when he cannot pay for the internet to play his dam game.
Good luck!
Re: I need an ear... EssieDotCom: [quote"> Or will he start playing another game again? Do you want to go through all this again? [/quote">
HA' ha' I hate EVERCRACK!!!! he has actually had to stop playing for the next 6 months, he's out on the ship for that long. I asked him when i saw him what about "EQ" and he said "i'm through playing it" and i said "well i've heard that before" and he was acting all serious and i said "you should have thought about that 13 months ago when I first told you what this game was doing to us both as a couple and as a family." he couldnt say anything but " I know, I"m sorry, I'm an idiot!"
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