lonely eeyore0512: I can't believe how completely alone I feel. My divorce has been final for 3 weeks now, I've gotten my own apartment, moved back to be closer to my family, but I still feel so very alone. Alll my friends are married with children so I can't hang out with them all the time. I shouldn't hang around my parents all the time either because welll...they just watch TV is all they do.
It's killing me sitting in the apartment day in and day out, and only leaving to go to work or the grocery store. I don't know where to go to meet new friends. I'm over 2 hours away from the larger cities, and the small towns only have activities geared for families.
Any advice to get rid of being lonely or on how to just get used to it would be helpful.
Re: lonely jillieb44: Get a dog and take it for a walk during these so called 'family' events. Dogs are a great icebreaker! (unless you have a monster hairy dog that likes to jump on people with muddy feet....)
Jillie
Re: lonely Fork: Oh, geez... I remember that feeling in those first few weeks. Trying to keep busy might help a little bit, but the most effective healing agent is going to be, as they say, time. Got any hobbies you'd thought about taking up in the past? Art? Music? You can pick up a decent acoustic guitar for a couple hundred bucks.
Re: lonely shockedandamazed: Eeyore - I made a list of things I had put off when I was married - I am halfway down the list...I took up rock climbing again and have met a few new people doing that. I took up knitting (but put the needles down as soon as I got back into climbing, much more fun!) I am going skydiving this summer, had originally planned to go on a tour of Europe, but recently decided to go next summer. I have volunteered to take underpriveledged children mountain biking. Another example was go to a movie alone (did it, survived) and eat at a restaurant alone (just can't do this one....yet)
Alright - I am rambling now - my point is, get out a pen and paper, jot down all the things you have always wanted to do. No matter how trivial or out of this world they are (one of mine was to purchase stock options in a specific company). Once you have these down, pick one and step outside of your box. Another one of mine was to approach a man I thought was attractive because I had always waited for someone to approach me - I did it twice...You have to do things that scare the ever living crap out of you to jolt you out of your comfort zone.
You will find as you go down the list that you will be adding more things as well. Try to plan things out so you have something to look forward to. For me, even the advance of knowing I would be attending a concert a few weeks off with friends was a good feeling.
I am now looking into joining a bowling league - because all of my friends are married and I still want to meet more single people. Once you start meeting people, you need to nurture, nurture, nurture these relationships....it takes time...I am still working on new friendships although I wish they would work overnight!
You can do it! One day at a time! Wish you lived closer - we could drag eachother out of our houses!!
Oh yeah - I am also in the process of creating a 'lonely' list of things I can do around the house (fun stuff, not chores) so I am not sitting on my couch in front of the tube feeling sorry for myself!
Re: lonely YellowJacket: I remember those first few weeks after my separation. The loneliness was unbearable. We weren't sure we were finished so I couldn't tell the story to anyone. It was quite a while until I discovered OJar, unfortunately.
I second what JB said -- thank goodness for my dog!
Do you like to run or bike? Those are both great ways to relieve boredom and to also give your mood a boost.
PlentyOfFish has been mentioned a lot here lately. It's a free dating site but you can also put up a profile to state that you're just looking for friends or someone to hang out with.
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