aggggghhhh - it sucks Catlady: I had massive family problems this week and its made me miss my ex but I have a very strong no contact policy so will not break it, plus he wouldn't care about my problems at all I'm sure.
My brother who is mentally ill has been causing real problems for my Mom at home, like violence and smashing things up, he's having to be hospitalised but its taking ages to get sorted. its all very stressful for my family, thing is in the old days it would have been the ex I would have looked to for support, he would have comforted me, made me feel safe. I have been feeling really down about that today and almost felt like calling or emailing him. Then I had to give myself a reality check and say - hello! this guy threw you out of your own home and ran off with someone else, he is not the one to offer any support and its just going to make things worse. I had to re-think whether he ever did really support me emotionally and I have no idea, well I think most of the time I was just fulfilling some bizarre need he had to look after people to make him feel good about himself (he actually told this to me once, but then lied about everything so who knows).
Anyway I have been strong and just talked with family members about this, I also got some bad career news and felt even worse but still am no contact. Agghhh it sucks tho, its so nice to have someone caring and loving in your life to support you when times are bad - but then its better to have someone genuine that an user and a lier right?
Re: aggggghhhh - it sucks watwat226: Hey Catlady, sorry that you’re going through a tough time. But you must be tough too, and it’s obvious that you are.
Going back to your ex for comfort is just falling back on old habits I guess. Sometimes I feel like contacting the ex for comfort. But in reality they are not there anymore like they once were. And they may never be. Sad but true, but then again, maybe its better that way.
You’re right, it is better to have someone genuine and don’t settle for anything less.
I hope you can come through your problems with flying colours! Continue to be strong. No contact is hard. But it must be done. Good luck!
Re: aggggghhhh - it sucks amanarama: ARRRRGHHH I know how you feel!
Except for me - its my hsband who i think is mentally ill, and he refuses to get help....
INo-one onearth could understnad how hard it is to wtach - a double pain of losing your best griend and your love and the whole rosy future -
As well as watching someone you truly love lose themselves...
Take it easy - and do whatever you can / whatever you have to do to get you through the day.
The strength of the human spirit is something so incredible I don't think I'll ever understand it
