Re: getting back together or moving on? no date: [quote author=inebr2000 link=topic=29031.msg282021#msg282021 date=1147813343">
I[color=red"> 've been divorced for 2.5 years. My husband left the relationship because he wasn't ready for the committment. We were very much in love with one another. I don't know if that makes sense, but I never doubted his love for me or the love we shared. His actions hurt me tremendously and I felt betrayed by the actions that stemmed from his fear of committment.
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I moved over 1500 miles away to start a new career. For the first 2 years after divorce we remained very good friends and spent a lot of time visiting and travelling together. Just recently, within the last 4 months, our friendship stopped because he was dating someone. I stopped our friendship because I realized I was not being a friend, but actually waiting for him to come back. His dating made me realize that.
In these last four months I've realized I had to move on with my life and have been dating quite a bit. Recently, I've met someone I think is really great. We've been on 5 dates and I find him to be such a great guy. I feel very close to being in love with him.
This weekend my ex emailed me the letter I had waited for -- professing his love and how he's realized what we have and how I've been the most important and influential thing in his life ...and wanting to get back together, to share a life together and have a family. He says that dating someone that he liked very much made him realize that it was only me he could see sharing his life and having a family with.
I'm in a difficult position. I know that my ex and I have a history, had a true love, and now he wants to make it work. He says he's willing to move to where I am to make it work. This new person I'm dating has been great from the start, he's treated me well from the beginning, yet we're not in love (yet) and there are many question marks in what type, of any future we might have together since the relationship is only about 1.5 months old.
I feel fortunate to be in this situation, I never thought I would be at a point like this in my life, but also scared of making the right decision. I will always wonder how the other road would have been. How would you approach making this decision? What would you do?
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wow there is so much there I can't possibly answer all the questions but I did dissect this part for you..shouldn't he have thought about the commitment part before he got married?? why on earth after the two years did he decide he wasn't ready? I don't know sounds to me like a pseudonym for I want to play the field and "like sow my wild oats man" to me anyway,.. just based on the little I have read it sounds like he's MR. INDESCISION! and I would tell him HEY! you wanted out and it wasn't just about needing space {after ALL he did date other women} I would tell him to take a hike {no matter what your feelings are} this is just a recipe for disaster in my book and possibly downright disrespectful.. my advice?..... don't get used! just my 00.01cent worth..
Re: getting back together or moving on? inebr2000: Oh, wow. You all make really good points here. I've decided to just try to keep my head about me right now and step away from both guys. As far as my ex, he has a lot of trust to rebuild. My inkling is that being responsibile for showing me with consistent action (over many many months) on how he's changed, getting back together with me won't seem like such a fun thing to do. He's a classic committmentphobe and I'm wary of this professed change. And I know this pattern of behavior well. The only thing I can do is protect myself from it.
Re: getting back together or moving on? Maximus: Follow your heart.
