Infidelity crushedman: I had an interesting conversation a couple of weeks ago with a woman that I work with. We were discussing which qualities were important to us in a mate, and which qualities that we would be willing to compromise on. She said it wasn't terribly important to her that whoever she be with be faithful, although she was a very faithful person. It blew my mind. Also, I have a friend that's been married for over 10 years. A little over 2 years ago, his wife confessed to having a one night stand. He told me that he was hurt, sure, but it wasn't that big of a deal. He said he just tried not to take it personally. In fact, he said he could count on one hand the number of times they've discussed it, and as far as he is concerned it's a closed issue. He's over it. (interesting side note- they've always had a great marriage and they don't seem to have missed a beat) Amazing.
As for me, I have to be one of the worst people in whole world at handling infidelity. I lose every ounce of compassion and forgiveness and just go for the jugular. When my Xfiance cheated on me, over 2 years later I still brought it up everyday. Strangely enough, I have struggled myself at being a faithful partner. It doesn't seem to make sense. Obviously, it's wrong to continuously verbally beat down a remorseful person that's trying to make things right. Let's just say that I hope I don't have too many more chances to try and improve my reaction to infidelity.
cm
Re: Infidelity fkunone: Infidelity crushes a person, whether your the infidel or the person being cheated on.
It'll crush your friend.
It'll crush her.
You can forget about it all you want.
Things'll never be the same. A part of you will be forever changed.
Pretend it'll be the same and so what. Nope.
Re: Infidelity crushedman: Maybe for you and I, and most people. But there are some that just don't regard it as a big deal. My Grandmother will go to her grave saying that she was ok with infidelity, as long as it was only physical. I'll tell you that you may not believe it, but I know my friend very very well. I don't think he's 'forgotten', I just think he regards it as a part of life. It's easier for him to accept than most people.
cm
Re: Infidelity fkunone: To each their own, I suppose. I can say whatever I want about being OK with something, but if dishonesty and infidelity doesn't affect my person as a person, who am I lying to?
Re: Infidelity crushedman: He's not lieing. It DOES affect him, just not nearly to the degree that affects people like you and me.
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