back to square one. sparks: I havent been on the forum for a while. I was doing good on my own. Quick recap. My husband left me for another woman when I returned from deployment in May of 04. He moved in with her. Divorce final August of 05. We get along for the most part when it concerns the kids. When the other woman gets involved, its an all out war. She works in a different country and comes back every other month for a couple of day to a week.
Now the reason I'm writing. My ex lied to me again last week. Nothing new but it still causes an argument between us. On Monday he calls me about the parenting schedule and at the end of the conversation, he says he is sorry for lying to me. I tell him I dont care. Im used to it. We hang up but he still has to say something so we go to text message. Long story short, he asks if we can talk over coffee. I ask about what and he says the kids. Okay. I can do that. After a couple of changes in plan, we end up at a local bar for a drink. I am planning on being completely professional. I get there and he already has my favorite drink waiting for me. We talk small talk and then I ask him what he really needed to talk to me about. We talked for about 3 minutes out of 30 about the kids.
Next he says he wants to come to the house to see the kids and he has a gift for our daughter. How can I say no to that? He ends up at the house for about 2 hours!
The problem? I wanted him there. As much as I have told myself and tried to convince myself that I dont want him back, that its over and done with, its not true. I love my exhusband still. Even after all he has done. Now I get the feeling that maybe he is realizing he made a mistake. Maybe I am reading something that is not there. Now I am back to being a mess and trying to figure out what is going on. Could I actually take him back after all this? My head says absolutely not. My heart is saying absolutely yes. Stupid heart. And all this without knowing what his intentions are. He might not have felt anything. Or he might be up to something that will hurt me in the long run. Or maybe hes afraid that I will find somebody else and he wont have a back up plan. Or maybe I am just a freaking idiot that is trying to read too much into everything.
Anyway, sorry about the long vent.
Re: back to square one. fkunone: Or maybe he just came over for a couple of hours. It's unusual, but it happens. Don't read into it too much.
Re: back to square one. moksha: I had a similar morning, my ex came over to bring me our daughter and he was so nice and complimentary. It hurt that I started to feel "those" feelings again for him after months of trying to build up a resistance to him. I don't have an answer for you, but you are not alone. My heart says we need to be strong-they hurt us bad and they don't deserve us. I'm lonely and it would be so nice to just fall back into his arms and our routines. But once a cheater always a cheater-right?????
Sending you love and strength. Don't be his fallback girl.
Moksha
Re: back to square one. fkunone: [quote author=moksha link=topic=29058.msg282416#msg282416 date=1147881014">
But once a cheater always a cheater-right?????
Sending you love and strength. Don't be his fallback girl.
[/quote">
Moksha, nope nope nope. Not true. Been there, wrecked that idea already.
Re: back to square one. moksha: Nope to what part? Once a cheater? or the fallback girl part? Can someone actually be true again?
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