Thinking about some things... ih8BeinAlone: Hey All,
Today I got an email from the X stating that she had begun to move things out of the house. (I moved out a few months ago). We tried to work things out during that time but she met someone quite recently (a month and half ago). Originally, the breakup was my fault.
Anyways, about this other guy...
I started to think about all the things I knew about this guy. Which is very little but a few things spurred my memory. So I just wanted to get your opinion on it.
1. He asked her out for the night after he met her at a party when we were still trying to "fix things" between us. (seems weird to me that he would be so quick about it). It's one thing to say "hey you wanna go grab a drink sometime next week?" instead of "hey wanna go out to dinner tomorrow?".
2. She told him right there and then that she was still committed to me and we still owned the house together but she would go out on a date with him. (if i were him it'd be the first sign for me to bail out on the date).
3. What type of guy asks a girl that's still living in her ex-b/f's house to go out on a date when her ex-boyfriend was hanging over there the previous day?
4. When I typed her my "last peace" email I mentioned in there how she was being influenced by our neighbors (new guys friends and how my ex met the new guy) and prolly by the new guy she was seeing. She quickly defended the neighbors saying they had nothing to do with it, but never even responded to my accusation that the new man was influencing her.
I really have a feeling that this guy is a controller. He is a cop and I'm not trying to stereotype cops but you have to admit sometimes their personality lends itself well to being a bit controlling. It sucks because i know my ex will just totally take it.
This s.o.b came in at the perfect moment and forced himself into her life. He knew exactly how to take advantage of the situation. This totally explains why every day she seemed to slip farther and farther away from me and I totally couldn't comprehend it.
I know for a fact, that even if she didn't want to be with me anymore she would have never moved out of the house if it wasn't for someone making her.
Anyways, I need to stop theorizing and just get over it I know. But what are your opinions on this? Does it even matter at this point?
Re: Thinking about some things... Lumpy: Don't blame the OM. He owes no loyalty to you or your ex. Whether she is being influenced by him or not, it's her choice to make.
Re: Thinking about some things... toofreshtothinkright: It doesn't matter now, but almost the same thing happened to me....
My ex went to her massage therapist alot, they were good friends, and while we were TRYING to work things out, she spent sooo much time at the gym (he works there) and I can gauruntee (sp) that he influenced her discioin...he used to give her CDs for her step and spin class (no biggie to me) but the last one was of all soothing music...it still never registered because I trusted he 100% and knew him and trusted him....BUt while we wrre working it out, she wouldn;t let me go near her physically and was never home.....about a day after she broke up with me, my friends said he had interest and 3 days after she moved out, he asked her out.
He wasn't the main reason for the split, of course, but he definitely saw an opportunity and expolited it. UNfortunately for me, he really is a nice guy and they are a great match.
So, Ih8, no, it doesn;t matter, but yes I'm sure he had some pull in the decision....it sucks. Trust me, you know my view on everything :(
Re: Thinking about some things... 2be: Yeah it sucks. But she's made her decision and will live with it, right or wrong. Just like you have. It's hard not to obsess but try not to... and just move on.
Re: Thinking about some things... twine: i also blamed the om at first but relize that it was my stbxw who made the descion to have the affair, not his so now i blame her
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