Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? 2be: [quote author=tweety link=topic=29075.msg282874#msg282874 date=1147957340">
...Kids tend to see right through the "this is my friend" because they see the opposite sex and tend to automatically consider you more than a friend to their parent.
[/quote">
Oh yeah. Despite us telling her daughter we are just friends, she totally sees through it. She gets exasperated and shakes her head at us like we're stone dumb when she says things like "You should sit on his side of the table, mom!" Mom asks "Why?" "Well, because he's your BOYFRIEND!!" Followed by a dramatic sigh.
Another situation: The daughter picked up a flower and handed it to me (mom was in the backyard) and told me to go get down on one knee, give it to her mom and ask her to marry me. Boy, THAT was an interesting situation to handle, explaining that marriage is not somehting to joke about lightly. So she went up to her mom and did it for me, which caused mom to blush in embarassment. ;)
I AM concerned about her getting too attached to me but all we can do is continue to take it slow and careful.
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? pluscachange: [quote"> When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children?[/quote">
Preferably after you've already moved out of your home with your wife/husband.
:)
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? superwife: [quote author=2be link=topic=29075.msg282964#msg282964 date=1147968709">
[quote author=tweety link=topic=29075.msg282874#msg282874 date=1147957340">
...Kids tend to see right through the "this is my friend" because they see the opposite sex and tend to automatically consider you more than a friend to their parent.
[/quote">
Oh yeah. Despite us telling her daughter we are just friends, she totally sees through it. She gets exasperated and shakes her head at us like we're stone dumb when she says things like "You should sit on his side of the table, mom!" Mom asks "Why?" "Well, because he's your BOYFRIEND!!" Followed by a dramatic sigh.[/quote"> that is an age specific thing too. My daughter is 6, and saw right thu it too. She met my bf and his son very early (too early). But I never made an inclination to her that this was my happily ever after man. She did not see him that much, and had no misunderstanding of who he was (she sees her father regularly).
When we ended it, it wasn't so bad. She asks every now and then, and I am very matter of fact about it. She now wants me to find a bf with a kid for her to play with. That's all she cares about. SO if the next one doesn't have a kid, she may never meet him.
[quote"> I AM concerned about her getting too attached to me but all we can do is continue to take it slow and careful.
[/quote"> Mine never really attached himslef to him, b/c he was never around on the weekends. Seriously, maybe ten times in the eight months.
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? sheydp: My kids meet them right away - because they meet all my friends. I also happen to be very affectionate, so they will see me holding hands, hugging, cuddling, etc with my friends, so they aren't expecting it to be more necessarily. (I do this with some of my girlfriends, too - so it isn't a sexual thing). They will know them as friends even if I am dating - and I wouldn't tell them we are dating unless it is exclusive. The part that gets them to know it is more is if I kiss them. Kisses are for those who are more - and generally they wouldn't see that until I had talked to them first.
With my boyfriend now - they saw it right away - because we started out long distance. They want it to work out (so do I) and might be disappointed if it doesn't... they like having him here. However, they will always have me, always have their Daddy, and they know they are loved - by all of us. They would be fine. They know they can have friends, and then fight too much and the friendship ends, so they would understand if that is true with me and my love. Kids are more flexible than we give them credit for.
I am NOT saying go for the revolving door of bf/gfs... But if you really like someone, the kids' opinions and reactions and your bf/gf's reaction to your kids should have some effect on how your relationship goes... they are an important part of your life!
Shey
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? superwife: [quote author=pluscachange link=topic=29075.msg282968#msg282968 date=1147969740">
:)
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Yeah that would be good. my stbx shuld have read this post a year ago!!
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