Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? 2be: Yes, it is. While I would love to be a father "figure" to my girlfriend's daughter, I am NOT her father, nor will I ever be. I would never, ever try to take that place.
I find it horrible that these men and women are so selfish that they try to put their own needs ahead of their children's well-being.
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? no date: [quote author=2be link=topic=29075.msg282799#msg282799 date=1147923213">
Yes, it is. While I would love to be a father "figure" to my girlfriend's daughter, I am NOT her father, nor will I ever be. I would never, ever try to take that place.
I find it horrible that these men and women are so selfish that they try to put their own needs ahead of their children's well-being.
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I see it time and again where the kids are almost considered friends as opposed to what they are IMPRESSIONABLE children.I have often wondered exactly what the long term damage is? I would love to know I can take a guess but that's all it would be any answers...?
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? kev: My opinion is that this is a very private and individual decision to make.
On one hand, if you are seeing different people (that's why they call it dating)...probably not so good of an idea to introduce your kids to every person that you date, if they are very little.
However, if you are in an exclusive relationship and it may be going somewhere, I think that it is perfectly acceptable to introduce your children to this new person.
i think it was no date that said "3 months" and that sounds about right...you absolutely have to have this person involved in their lives if they are going to be involved long term with you.
Kids are very perceptive to everything. even if they are little, they can see when a parent is happy or sad, and if you are happy with a person, and they are willing to take the responsibility of being involved with a person that has children, i don't think there is anything wrong with slowly involving the SO and the kids together.
in my experience, my ex had kids, and we didnt say "this is mommy's boyfriend" or anything like that. i was just there, did things with them, played with them, and let them get to know me and like me. they figured things out on their own.
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? twetifb: The guy I've been dating for the past couple months has a six year old son and we recently had a long talk about me meeting him. I personally am not ready because I get attached to children very easily. Also, my parents divorced at a young age and in my opinion they both introduced my brother and I to too many of their dates. I don't want to meet someone's chidren until we're moving in the direction of having a future together and right now we're not there. I know that for each situation the timing is different due to circumstances but I think the longer you wait the better. Kids tend to see right through the "this is my friend" because they see the opposite sex and tend to automatically consider you more than a friend to their parent.
Re: When to introduce new boy/girlfriend to your children? Chris: i've had to cross this bridge a few times. my kids are young and only one of them even realizes that i have different "friends". i've dated quite a bit, but don't introduce my kids to just anyone. my oldest asks (there has only been 3) about the ones that don't come around anymore, but i'm honest with her and explain the situation and she seems to adjust quite well. my ex married the first guy she dated after the divorce, so there is some stability on the other end. i think that as long as you provide a stable atmosphere for your kids and don't allow your relationship with your kids to revolve around the person you're dating, then there should be no big issues if the relationship happens to not work out.
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