I Feel Like a Real Jerk!!! kramdensdaddy: I told my story on this board several times but for those of you who never read it, here it is in a nut shell:
I am a married man, 42 years old. About two years ago a woman began working with me about 15 years younger than me whom I developed a feelings for. I never thought or wanted something like this to ever happen.
I never told anyone aside from this board anything about this situation.
It started to effect my marriage as I developed depression and anxiety. This was really consuming my thoughts. My wife and I did go to counceling and I am now on an anti-depressant which did help somewhat.
Well, here's the situation. About a year ago the girl announced she is getting married. She told me several times my wife and me would be invited. I was very upset and confused; I knew it would be very awkward for me to attend this wedding with my wife. I didn't know what to do.
I know I probably acted impetuously, but I completely stopped speaking to her. The only time I talk to her is if it is work related business. She then invited everyone to the wedding but me.
The problem is this Saturday is the wedding, and even though I never wanted to attend, I feel now like a real jerk; that everyone is going but me. I know there must have been another way out of this, but at the time I was very confused and acted hastely. Now this is consuming my thoughts.
I know I have no one to blame but myself, but what does everyone else think of my situation? Any comments or opinions? Thank you.
Re: I Feel Like a Real Jerk!!! ih8BeinAlone: good for you for doing the right thing by not talking to her. who cares if she didn't invite you to her wedding? did you really want to go anyways?
Re: I Feel Like a Real Jerk!!! Annie: Well, first you need to set up your priorities straight: your family is your priority. Her own family is a priority. Let her go and be happy with what you got. Why do you want to go to the Wedding? Only because she didn't invite you? You aren't in a grade school anymore.
As for the Wedding, send her (and her new husband!) a Congratulations letter and a small, non-commitment gift: some flowers (no roses!), maybe potted ones, or a little framed picture.
Re: I Feel Like a Real Jerk!!! kramdensdaddy: You guys are not understanding me.
I didn't ever want to attend that wedding; I still don't.
I just feel like a jerk that I had to do what I did to get out of going. I feel that all of my co-workers think I am a jerk too.
Even though I never wanted to attend ,it is bothering me. It is hard to explain but that is the way I feel.
Re: I Feel Like a Real Jerk!!! LNC: [quote author=kramdensdaddy link=topic=29080.msg283048#msg283048 date=1147979206">
Even though I never wanted to attend ,it is bothering me. It is hard to explain but that is the way I feel.
[/quote">
Don't let this consume you. You were infatuated by this woman and it is good that you decided to work on your marriage. It takes a strong individual not to give in to the temptations. As for your other co-workers thinking you are a jerk for not talking to her no more, who cares. As long as your work is being completed, there is nothing that says you have to maintain a personal relationship outside of work.
just my 2 cents,
LNC
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