Ok, which is it? Plucky: Do men want us to be emotional or not, ladies? One minute, they give us crap for being too serious or emotional and the next, they want to know why we don't talk to them about our feelings. I'm so confused!
I'm a very private person and I need my space a lot. Just because I don't cry to everybody about my problems or whatever, people think I'm insensitive or cold. I'm terribly sensitive and I think that's why I don't talk about things unless I 100% trust someone. However, I know that I'd get the glazed over, annoyed look if I started opening up.
And we're supposed to be hard to figure out! Sheesh!
Re: Ok, which is it? chaotic: Its a matter of finding a balance between being too emotional and showing none. I actually think its nice when a woman shows emotion. Its when things go overboard and she gets really clingy really fast that I have an issue.
Also keep in mind that guys tend to handle personal issues differently. When you say that we want one thing, then the next moment we say something different. Remember that he may not mind the emotion while he is not dealing with any of his own issues, but when he says that you are too emotional, perhaps he is dealing with something on his own and cant handle your emotions too.
Just my thoughts....I may be full of sh!t too, so dont take my word for it.
Re: Ok, which is it? jillieb44: Don't know.
I have had a horrific week and called a former date who *claimed* he still wanted to be friends, and I'd seen him like twice since, and we'd had several phone conversations...I was really REALLY down and needed a friend, since my other *friends* and family -- all they could do was ream me out, blame all my problems on me, and tell me to PRAY...f*ck that, get off your damn arses and HELP ME OUT cuz THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY DO!!! Not just watch a family member slide over the edge and claim, see, knew you couldn't do it, hahahaha (Yeah, those are my friends and family...NICE.)
Anyway, all I was doing was trying to leave a message on his cell, cuz I knew he was likely still at work (he was). He answered the first time, but didn't say hello, just picked up and hung up. Second time, same thing, only he said 'stop calling me' before hanging up. Turns out I forgot I was calling from home and I have call blocking. Okay, so he didn't know it was me. When we got that straightened out through brief e-mail messages, he said "I'm sorry to hear you're down, I'm a friend and want to be there for you, that's what friends do, I'll call you tonight."
*Tonight* was MONDAY and I have yet to hear from him. Maybe I'll just e-mail him a picture of my ARM that has a huge DOG BITE on it with resulting purply yellow bruise...cuz that was just the icing on the cake.
Jillie
Re: Ok, which is it? shygirl2006: I think it is more of a balance as well too. Men don't like to sit and go over the details like women do. It is best to pour it out to your girlfriend. With men they want to know what is going on I think and just a "so you know".
I think women hold on longer to things then men do.
Re: Ok, which is it? Plucky: I guess I have the opposite problem than most...I'm not a woman that's showy with my thoughts and feelings since my first divorce. It's all still there, but I don't just hand it over to other people. I've been getting crap from men ever since I settled in to myself about not being more open. But, the minute that I express my thoughts and/or feelings I'm being bitchy or hormonal or too emotional. I guess it's my problem, but I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not for other people. I'm just not able to trust anyone with that kind of stuff anymore. And that's better for me. Why can't people understand that?
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