Re: Ok, which is it? chaotic: [quote author=Plucky link=topic=29092.msg282924#msg282924 date=1147962315">
I guess I have the opposite problem than most...I'm not a woman that's showy with my thoughts and feelings since my first divorce. It's all still there, but I don't just hand it over to other people. I've been getting crap from men ever since I settled in to myself about not being more open. But, the minute that I express my thoughts and/or feelings I'm being bitchy or hormonal or too emotional. I guess it's my problem, but I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not for other people. I'm just not able to trust anyone with that kind of stuff anymore. And that's better for me. Why can't people understand that?
[/quote">
When you are encouraged to be more open, do you do it right away, or wait a couple days? Perhaps your SO is sensing something is wrong and is ready to deal with it / listen to the problem. If you open up then and there, then he/she is ready. If you say nothing is wrong and wait til another time to talk about it, you run the risk of blindsiding the guy.
Also I think that guys and girls prioritize problems differently. Ladies tend to think more emotionaly, and what she finds to be a major emotional event, the guy may not. Some guys are just not that good at handling emotional issues. He may actually think that in the given situation, you are being too emotional, or taking things too personally.
I am not saying that he is right or wrong. But give the guys the benefit of the doubt. By all means, I was guilty of not being emotional enough in my relationship
Re: Ok, which is it? Lumpy: Speaking just for myself I want you to tell me how you're feeling but your feelings need to be rational. *Ducks then hides*
Re: Ok, which is it? Plucky: Ok, so what if I'm not confortable talking about my feelings (which is what this thread is about)...then how do you handle that? What if I'm just not a Steel Magnolias kind of girl?
Re: Ok, which is it? chaotic: If you are not comforatble with talking about your feelings, then dont. But the thread seemed to ask which do we (as guys) want?
You said that you arent comfortable talking about your feelings, but when you do, you are told you are too emotional.
So my question to you would be.....
Which is it? Are you not comfortable talking about your feelings, or do you hold them in, hold them in, hold them in.....Then all of a sudden let everything out thereby blowing a small situation into a huge situation.
Because that is what I am perceiving as happening. If that is what you are doing, then expect the guy to think you are too emotional. We can handle when you tell us your feelings. We have trouble when you hold them in until the boiling point then pour everything on us.
Re: Ok, which is it? Plucky: You're right, that's how it started out...trying to figure out what in the world you men want...I guess I got off track. Sorry about that ;)
Everything that you all have said has made sense. I was raised in an environment where hyper-sensitive or just plain old emotional women were hard to find. My guy friends that have stuck around have told me that my level-headedness makes them more comfortable. But, when I meet someone I'm interested in, they seem to really push me to expose every little thought in my head. Some have succeeded in getting me to talk about myself and it usually ends up badly. I guess I was venting. Sorry if I confused anyone. :-\
Click More for the next page.
