Re: Do I Really Want To Know thehitekrednek: Thanx Guys, You are probably right, I should just get over it. Hey Smiley, good to see you pop in here, I think I will talk about them to my counsellor alone, and get his opinion, although I think he will concur with IM and C-Note.
Re: Do I Really Want To Know YellowJacket: I'd ask yourself:
1. Do I really need to know this or is it just that irritating curiousity making me want to ask? Is knowing going to help anything?
2. Can I handle the answer?
3. If she tells me exactly what I'm hoping to hear, am I just doing to dismiss it as her telling me exactly what I want to hear (instead of the truth)?
Be sure you're going to gain from hearing the answers. Getting them really sounds like a lose-lose situation.
Re: Do I Really Want To Know yella: Thanks!
You know, it's never good to dig too deep into what happened in her life while you were separated. It may make her feel interrogated, which is going to work against what you're doing, but there are always questions that you might need to ask. Just as if you were dating her for the first time. But basically the past should be that.... the past.
I know it's hard because there will always be questions, but don't limit these concerns to your own therapist. The marriage counsellor should know your concerns too, so you both can work on them together. I do agree that talking to your own first is a great idea.
Re: Do I Really Want To Know thehitekrednek: Ahhh, Smiley. If only you had moved north, I wouldn't care anymore, I'd have the greatest girl in the world. Alas, it was not meant to be. I don't even know if it's a problem, now that I have brought out, instead of holding it in.
Re: Do I Really Want To Know katelyn: I know how you feel Spike.
I have this sneaking suspicion that something pysical happened a couple of summers ago right after we got back together. I can't shake it. I just know it did, in my heart. Alot of shadiness was going on, and I just know it happened. I also know, because I know him and every time I ask I can just tell he's lying.
I try to just say to myself "it was two years ago, who cares if it happened or not, we're past all that anyway, besides - can I really stomach knowing?"
Thing is, I'll never stop wondering until I know the truth. That's what sucks.
I just want it in the open so I can put it to rest.
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