things i can't just let slide.. Irony:
I want to be absolutely up front with all of you..
OK , so my stbxw has come and gone from here.
A lot of you were very supportive and defensive of me and I appreciate your loyalty. Those of you who slammed back at her have all gotten PM's from me asking you to hold back and to be more understanding of her position.
That said, I need to get a few things off my chest:
Seems she and I have both violated each other's privacy and I publicly apologize to her for my actions and words.
I can understand how upset she must be to read the rantings of a man who at the time was absolutely and certifiably insane with anger and rage and the feeling of being abandoned, lied to, betrayed and a whole lot of other things that I can't even remember now. I wrote those things at the height of despair, or should I say the lowest point in my life. I wanted to lash out at her. I wanted to hurt her.. I wanted her to feel just a tiny bit of the pain I was going through at the time.
I said some very hurtful things.
They were rants, venting the overwhelming feelings of loss I had at the time.
This is the woman I loved more than any other and yet, here i was lashing out at her and revealing those oh so private exchanges.
I believe that in the process of venting my anguish, I revealed some very personal thoughts.. some things she had told me in strictest confidence.. things not to be repeated publicly, nor brought up in the heat of an arguement.
I violated her trust.
While I'm finally reaching a place where I have been able to put one foot in front of the other.
I tried to reasssure her that this is all anonymous and that noone here knows who i am or who she is..
Understand that she is a very sensitive and private person and that readiing my innermost thoughts here, some embellished by the cast of anger and hurt I was feeling at the time, reading those thoughts feel like a betrayal to her.
For that I publicly apologize to her.
I can fully understand her feeling of all of you getting a one sided story..
I take full responsibility for my behavior.
iron man
Re: things i can't just let slide.. thehitekrednek: Irony, I too did as you, and vented here in rage, anger, grief, and the thousand other feelings that I would wish on my worst enemy. I have not revealed this to my wife, but after seeing what happened here, I almost feel I owe it to her to see what I wrote. I would not reveal this site to her just yet, but rather print them out for her to read, and respond too.
I think that in the most emotional part of our lives, we may do and say things that were told us in confidence. Can they really hold that against us though, we were lied too, cheated on, abandoned, and left for dead.
Just the ramblings of an old man in love (or relove) as it were.
Spike
Re: things i can't just let slide.. Lumpy: I agree with Spike here Iron. You did nothing but try to heal yourself. If she's going to take you to task for that then so be it. In the other thread someone tried to point out that none of us know her. If any character debasement occured it was totally anonymous. How can you betray someones trust to strangers? These things were written for you not her.
Re: things i can't just let slide.. Irony:
I understand lumpy, and I want y'all to understand that she is a very private person and that evidently even posting on an anonymous board is ovder the top for her..
Hard to understand for someone who wears his heart on his sleeve as I do.
A deeply humbled,
iron man
Re: things i can't just let slide.. thehitekrednek: Privacy??? Who crossed a bigger line? You for posting, or her for finding the posts?
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