Re: dating sites and "the lack of chemistry thing" superwife: [quote author=2be link=topic=29537.msg289057#msg289057 date=1149004941">
But those things are something that would've shown up at this point regardless if we had met online or not.
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Very good point, 2be. I don't blame the demise of my last relationship on the internet. We dated for 8 months. There obviously was initial chemistry...but then you get to know someone. I can't blame match.com for that. people are ging to act the same at first, no matter how you meet them.
Re: dating sites and "the lack of chemistry thing" NO DATE: 2be and sw,
of course I agree that once you have met someone you have this thing called chemistry with it matters not how you met them!! my point is way before you are in a relationship ..call it the transition between dating site and meeting in person, sparks all over the phone conversation but live something is a miss,it's my new project to try to figure out why this happens and I'm not just talking about the other person i am including myself in on this one, BC it has happened to me lately and I don't know why!
Re: dating sites and "the lack of chemistry thing" smokin: man, you may never find it. chemistry is different in each and every one of us..
maybe she doesnt like your shoes, height, weight, eye lashes, ears, personality, or whatever. its their choice, nothing we can do about it.......
i myself, would spend more time, trying to figure out WHO i am, rather than WHO they want to be with. improve yourself first. be happy with you, and the attitude change will glow.......
fwiw.
Re: dating sites and "the lack of chemistry thing" superwife: [quote author=goosetapeman link=topic=29537.msg290295#msg290295 date=1149179026">
i myself, would spend more time, trying to figure out WHO i am, rather than WHO they want to be with. improve yourself first. be happy with you, and the attitude change will glow.......
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Excellent advice ;)
Re: dating sites and "the lack of chemistry thing" NO DATE: of course nothing to disagree with here but,
I'm not sure I'm being all that clear on this, what I'm trying to figure out is..if there is "chemistry" on the phone and through other forms telecomunication is it possible to "pick up" on the nuances so you don't waste a bunch of time meeting like a hundred people all of whom you may have sparks with on the phone or whatever but nothing in person..there has to be some way of telling this before you invest in a bunch of dead end "meetings" with the same number of potentials. to give you a scenario of wasted time and this happened recently..
I met this woman online through a weird twist of fate {romantic already} and we traded email addresses and began to chat and we had literally hundreds of things in common! and talked for 5 hours and we had a blast everything from movies to jobs we had similaer outlooks on relationships {horrific ex's"> just everything clicked EVERYTHING! but when we met it was like I didn't feel it and I don't think she did either,.. really, so it was a sheer wast of time in a way wasn't it? it got me wondering since this scenario has happened time and again there must be some sort of disconnect I'm missing in these phone conversations and once I figure it out, I think it will save me and others a bunch of wasted time meeting people who although verbally hit it off even in person when you meet in person all bets are off for any kind of continuing relationship. my question is what is this disconnect in person? can't be the confidence thing or really even a looks thing we traded pics close ups posed un posed you name it, so that's not really it either, it has something to do with familiarity, best I can figure it, ie "type" as in your not the type I usually date or have dated in the past, I think there is a key to figuring this out to avoid wasted time, got to be.. now what is it..??? don't exactly know yet but I think I'm getting closer to some sort of theory if not an answer..
BTW, this happens less if the mode of introduction was in person rather than through the net. {my experience}
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