not quite ready hr: I am not quite ready to say goodbye, but don't you worry about me. I will be at that point one day. I will get stronger every day. I may step back a few times in my progress. I may have a couple hangups, but I WILL be okay. I really loved you. As much as I want that to go away, a part of me wants to hold on because it's comfortable. If I let it go I will have to examine what is wrong with me and look at my failures as well as yours. I thank you for the two most beautiful children. I curse you for the pain, hurt, and the numerous times you betrayed my trust. I always forgave you, but I never forgot that hurt. Most times in the relationship you were thinking only of yourself. You felt trapped and suffocated because of your own choices. You are weak because you couldn't say no. Our marriage had to many people in it. I just got tired of worrying what you were up to. I get angry that you put me in that position. I don't want to be betrayed by you anymore. I am in charge of myself from now on. I will always be connected to you. We share children. I will cherish you because of the happy times, there were many. Part of the person I have become is because of you. I will forgive you one more time. This is final. I no longer am wondering what is wrong with me. Why can't you love me the way you should. I will not put myself through this anymore.
Re: not quite ready corkscrew: Appears as if you have a healthy attitude towards all this. Even though you'll have rough moments, the fact that you've been at this place of acceptance and logic is a good sign that someday you'll be able to stay at that place.
It took me a very long time to get to a place where the hurt was no longer palpable. It sounds as if you are well on your way in recovery.
