This still sucks damn53: Well folks, it has been a long time since I rapped at ya. Things have moved along, many of you won't remember my complete story, but I just need to write a bit.
Alot of anger has been coming back. I can't believe it has been almost 9 months since I split up with the person that was supposed to be my life partner. Things have gotten easier in many ways, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I wish it would all just go away. I wish I never met her. I wish she would stop trying to be my friend. Why would I want to be friends with someone like her. SHe has completely changed. She f's a new guy a month, and I still love her for some dumb reason. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be with her. I just can't stop running through all the lies and bullshit I was told. SHe now is dating a guy for 1 1/2 months who has a kid. She has a damn carseat in her car. After all that shit she pulled. I don't know if I want kids. I need some time off. I wanna wait and see how things go. Well I wasn't ok with that shit after she said she wanted to see other people. You don't see other people in a marriage. She lied and took teh house. She had an emotional affair with someone while I was gone out of country. Why in the hell was it ok to treat someone like that. ANd why in the hell do I still treat her nicely and talk like we are friends. She is not my friend. I wouldn't be friends with anyone that betrayed my trust like she did, so why keep up the formality of any kind of relationship with her? Why listen when she tells me how much she misses my family and my friendship. Fuck that. Sleep in the bed you made. What responsibility do I have to you? None. Not even to listen to you. I am the bigger person, and the better person, but I don't need to keep proving it. And I don't need to do shit for her sake. You suck _______. I hope your mental issues get better, but I hope Karma gets you hard.
Have a girlfriend now, still can't handle it. She really likes me, and I am constantly needing to tell her I need space. Poor woman. I have been 100% honest with her though. I wont hurt her, especially after what I have been through. How do I get to be less protective of myself though? I just want to be mentally healthy and normal again. I am really a great guy, just damaged goods. I don't want to be that. I am good looking, educated, caring, community involved, fun, and a helluva listener. When is it my turn to move on? This still sucks.
Thats all for now, thanks for listening.
Damn
Re: This still sucks brokenbaby: I really think it would be a good thing for you to cut off all contact with your ex. You don't need to be her friend, you hold no responsibility toward her and it seems like her being around is more harmful than good.
The anger is normal but don't hold onto it. It is like a poison that needs to be worked through your system and released. I know from experience.
Those are the two biggest things I get from your post. And keep being honest with your new GF. It will only be for the best. And of course you need space. You are still healing. Still reeling from betrayl and the ultimate death of your marriage.
Good luck.
Re: This still sucks damn53: Thanks,
Just needed to write it out a bit where I knew someone that wasn't her would read it.
