WHY ME???? I wish he would fall off the face of the earth..... Mist: Not really but............UGH!!!!
Men! How many stbxw's do you know that would try and help the new love of his life (but remember they are just friends) fix their relationships? Me not many. Yet that is what I was trying to do is help them. Come to find out what he had told me pretty much can be summed up by LIES again!!! WTF?!?!? He gains nothing by continuing to lie and only risks being outed.
I just want our papers done. He wants our papers done. Yet for some reason I can't get him to 'set a date' to fix them. Simply and observation based on actions and it was misconstrued by him.
Now he is mad at me again. Oh well. He wouldn't be mad if there wasn't some truth in what was spoken.
I am not looking forward to talking to him tonight.... :-\
Anyway I sent him an email today and it follows with names omitted for obvious reasons:
Ok so here goes...if she took that part of the conversation as me thinking you had changed your mind. I am sorry. I will fix that. I know that you haven't changed your mind and that isn't an issue with me. I just wanted us to set up a time to get them fixed so that its done and over with. How does Friday sound? I will bring dinner and the girls and they can watch a movie while we finish the paperwork.
You know I truly wish you and S the best no matter what road you two take. I truly hope for her sake that you can change.
Yes I want you to hurt as bad as you hurt me. But not at her expense. I offered to help try and figure out what was going on. You made it sound like she was pulling away when in fact it was you not returning her phone calls. So in a way you are STILL lying to me and there is nothing to gain anymore from lying to me.
I do miss you...I would even go out on a limb and say there is still a large part of me in love with you. However, in the last few weeks I have come to realize that we aren't meant to be together anymore. Even if you 'changed your mind' I do not believe that I would be willing to stop the divorce. I like things they way that they are now. I enjoy having you as a friend.
I just want you happy. I know that I am learning a lot about myself and I know that right now I am happy. Lonely yes. Unhappy no. I am learning that I am actually a pretty great person. I have my flaws as does everyone. But overall I am a good person and I deserve someone that can love all of me not bits and pieces. For that I thank you.
That all being said I am sure that I will get an earful from you still about my conversation with S last night. Like I said I am sorry that she read it different then how I meant it. I made an observation about how you acted when I brought up fixing the papers that is all.
Melissa
I am so ready to close this chapter in my life and start new and fresh. Is that so wrong of me?
