Re: Anyone rebound? How did you feel? Melbel: LOL... Now I am the town slut!!
I just think of sex way diffrent then most. Now making love is a whole diffrent thing and NO I am not ready for that.
Sex~ No commitment, no questions, you get to just have fun!!
Making love~ you actually have to know the person :), like/love them....
Yuk...no thanks I will stick to a 1 night stand!!!
Re: Anyone rebound? How did you feel? corkscrew: I was that way at first too Melbel. It just seemed the easiest answer at the time.
Re: Anyone rebound? How did you feel? hudson: [quote author=2be link=topic=29576.msg289564#msg289564 date=1149093622">
I've heard some say that the first relationship after your breakup will be a rebound, regardless. I think that is a load of hooey. Rebounding only happens when you or the other person is coming into the relationship trying to make up for the past relationship. Trying to fill up some hole or prove that they are loveable. Those relationships won't work.
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Totally disagree with you 2be. My first post-divorce relationship was a rebound, big time. However, by no means did I think it was at the time. I was totally hopeful and optimistic going into the relationship. I was certain that it had long term potential. So it's not like I went into the relationship consciously aware that I was using this woman to recover from my divorce or using her for any reasons for that matter.
I think plenty of people get into post-divorce relationships with a totally positive outlook only to find out after the fact, that they are no where near ready. That's what happened to me. And it was quite terrible when I realized my situation and had to break it off with the girl. She was deeply hurt, and I felt awful for doing that to her.
We became very close, very fast...unhealthy fast. That should have been a sign right there, but we were both so hopeful and happy to have found someone to be with that we really didn't pay any attention. Then, as I started to look at myself and her and the way we were using each other to deal with our heartbreak and failed marriages, I knew that I was nowhere near ready to get serious again.
So I bailed, really fast. I made a clean break. And I knew I was doing the right thing, she didn't. She didn't realize that neither of us were ready, I think she was still in denial about her own emotional state at the time...she was a recent divorcee as well. So I think that's why she was so hurt. I think for a time there, she honestly thought I was the "one". I remain sorry to this day for hurting her the way I did, but I had to break it off, no doubt.
The 4 or 5 girls I've been involved with since her, were all primarily chickypoos that I can hang out with and get busy with. No emotional attachment to speak of. But I'm done with that. I'm only going to get involved with serious contenders from here on out.
Re: Anyone rebound? How did you feel? 2be: I understand... heck the relationship I'm in might be MY rebound though I don't want it and didn't come into it. I guess what I was trying to say that I disagree with the concept that EVERY relationship after the big D is a rebound. For a LOT of people they are not ready, i agree.
But I also think that we're playing the odds here too. Even if we WERE ready, the chances of that immediate next relationship being 'the one' is small, no matter our emotional health.
Re: Anyone rebound? How did you feel? Melbel: I have always thought of sex as the same as breathing. Something you need to do to live. While this isn't going to sit well with some of you, I still am going to say it.
Why shouldn't sex just be that. Why the hell does it have to mean something!! I just don't get it. I am not sorry but rather confused! Way can't you find someone that you are attracted to and just have a good time...NOT when the kids are home!!!
2be I was just joking about the whole town slut thing...you and I are cool ;)
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