FEMALE ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE toofreshtothinkright: ALright, as someof you may know, my ex left me after 4 years and living together for two.. She calims that the spark and passion just died adn that it was too late to try and get it back....she then started dating her masage therapist (who I knew ws interested in her).
BUt after two months, you really look back and the reason all this happened was my fault (maybe not 100%, but fairly close), and I have really opened my eyes to mistakes I have made and what I really need to improve. I wouldl ove more than anything to finally get the chance to love and trat her the way she deserved all along.
So my question is to female leavers:
Do I contact her and not really ask her back, but just let her knwo that I can accept the responsiblity and that I can really see what has to change about myself to become a better person. There were alot of things that she probably doesn;t even think I noticed that contributed to this, btu I have recognized themand I just want to let her know.
OR, do I just try and be her friend, which will proabably kill me
OR do I do nothing...no contact?
Advice is sorely needed.....
Re: FEMALE ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE brokenbaby: I am not a leaver but I'd like to give my opinion.
She left not 100% because of you. Not even close. You are taking on too much blame for the failure of your relationship. I know, because I did the same thing. I begged him to come back. I tried showing him I was changing. Nothing worked because it wasn't just me. I know now, six months later, I would never do it again. All of his faults are shining brightly as well.
Stop contact, stop focusing on her and start focusing on yourself. The sooner you do this the better it will be for you.
I know how hard it is. I really do. But YOU have to come first now.
Re: FEMALE ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE star13erin: why do you feel like you did something wrong? If you had good communication to start with she should have brought it to your attention instead of just leaving or tearing down your sex life... you sound like a kind person what could you have done to hurt the realationship.. don't blame yourself. it takes two
Re: FEMALE ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE sosad05: Your best bet is no contact. My personal opinion is that its too soon to be "friends." If you beg her back, you are likely to get shut down and then you'll feel even worst. Try to make yourself busy when you get the urge to call her. Call a friend. Get on ojar. Do something else. Dont chase her!
If you found areas you needed improvement in, save that for your own benefit. If its meant to be, it will work itself out in the long run. Focus on YOU. Focus on what makes YOU happy.
I know its hard. <<<HUGS>>>
Re: FEMALE ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE toofreshtothinkright: star13, I did sooo much to contribute to the downfall of our relationship. That is why I am so hopeful, because ai had time to really see what I did and I am excited knowing that I am going to be a better person from seeing these things. I won't get into it, but trust me, it was mainly my doing..just beleive me ok.
I guess my question is how will she ever know that I have changed if we never see eachother or talk? And I'm not jujst saying this her leaving me has opened my eyes WIDE to the faults in me as a person and these were something I could say contributed to my previous relationship's downfall...
so how do i let her benefit from this?
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