Re: How long it too long? superwife: Maybe it's just me, but i would say it's time to tell her to s--- or get off the pot. what she's doing to you is completely wrong!! you are a human being with feelings and emotions. And despite your faults (as we all have, i'm sure you were not perfect as you admitted), she either cannot accpet you for who you are, or she's just paying with your head. You are her husband, for pete's sake. Sure, you shouldn't let yourself go, but you shouldn't have to be charming her at this point.
Re: How long it too long? Lumpy: I agree with Crushedman and Superwife. She's calling all the shots and has you on a string. As long as you are willing to give her that much power you will always be a back-up plan to her. You need to take care of yourself.
Re: How long it too long? croutonic: i guess my response is pretty simple - if you want her back, she's going to have to realize that she misses you, and she's going to have to think about what she misses, and why.
she can't do that if you're always around, if you're still seeing her.
i'd do one last "date" (a really nice one), tell her what the deal is, and go with no contact.
the hard lesson here is that you can't make someone want you. they have to do it themselves. and you're not doing yourself any favors by staying on the emotional rollercoaster.
i don't see this as giving up - you'll accept her back if she decides that's what she wants, right? if anything, this is the harder path, but the one with the best results for you. if she doesn't come back, you'll have had time to get over her and make peace with the past. if she does, it'll be because she wants to be with you.
Re: How long it too long? sheeps: Perhaps she is finding it difficult to be the one to sever the relationship, hence the cold or indifferent treatment during your "dates". And I think your counselor hasn't been watching enough Dr. Phil.
There is nothing you can do to make her do ANYTHING. If you have be all charming and sauve, what's the point? She's already told you "she doesn't see it..."
Do yourself a favor and think hard about the fact that your relationship is over, unless she changes her mind, all by herself. You should sever it and tell her relationships don't work that way. And don't do it on a date. In person, maybe, but be firm. You're doing all the work and getting nothing.
That's being a slave to a dream.
Re: How long it too long? jadedangel: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=29597.msg291183#msg291183 date=1149287727">
I agree with Crushedman and Superwife. She's calling all the shots and has you on a string. As long as you are willing to give her that much power you will always be a back-up plan to her. You need to take care of yourself.
[/quote">
[color=navy"> I'm with this bunch ...
Holy crap ... she's using you and because you are putting your entire heart into it .. your not truly seeing it ... No reconciliation will ever work if BOTH parties don't want it .. and that means effort from HER as well as you ... You cannot fix a marriage all by yourself .. I don't care what your counselor says ...
Your putting the entire production together .. but if the lead singer refuses to sing ... the show will not go on.[/color">
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