The Deep Thoughts... yella: This is a silly question, but have you ever sat there all day long and had deep thought after deep thought about your life and where it's going?
Have you ever sat there and cried off and on all day after your break-up or divorce had been over for months or years?
Have you ever wondered how you got to where you are and whether or not you've actually made any positive changes in your life?
I've been here at home all day. It's been raining for who knows how long, and the skies are still dark. I have no idea when the sun is going to shine again, and it's depressing as hell.
I think... I think... and I think. It's what I do and what I've always done. Many times I over analyze things, but again, it's who I am. Today is one of those days. I don't know where my life is going or if I'm even happy with it. I know that I need a change, and maybe if I'm lucky I'll get a change at work, but something needs to give.
How great would it be now that I've changed my car, changed my date, changed my hair, and possibly my job, all within a year? Is that really great, or is that too much change? Hmmm... not for me I think. I get bored easily, so change is a good thing in my world, but I think the type of change should be monitored. To a point...
In the coming year, I'll most likely change my home. Another major one, but I believe it's for the positive, even if I freak out about the logistics of it all. It's still a good thing.
I was talking to T earlier today and he got me thinking. He said that everything he worked for is basically gone and he has to start from the ground up. Although that may be true, he's not the only one. I've been starting over slowly for 3 years now. Instead of it happening quickly like his is, I was in limbo way too long, so all of my changes are happening at the same time his are. The jury is still out on whether or not that will make or break us. Only time will tell, but given my track record, I wouldn't hold your breath on anything.
So my biggest deep thought provoking question is, have I really come as far as I think I have, or am I still in the same place?
Re: The Deep Thoughts... Batman: I've spent more time thinking that I have living.
Re: The Deep Thoughts... MikeB: ditto (damn, this is practically my field of studies... and in my spare time I read philsophical literature and do even more thinkin', -so practically, I don't do much else)... but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing - as long as you don't forget to live... which is a problem I struggle with frequently.
Re: The Deep Thoughts... yella: I was told yesterday that I think too much. Hmmm... I think too much? Maybe it's because I have a lot to think about.
I once told someone not to think so much, but to feel. Now it's the reverse for me. I'm not in a feeling way because of all of the crap I've been through in the past few months. Feeling is scary, thinking is not.
I wonder if I really have made any positive changes. I'm thinking not really, at least not yet. Maybe I need to think some more.
And Batman, you're not alone. I've been spending more time thinking than living too. ::) Probably because of all of the rain we've gotten. You can't really do much else.
