Stop it!! brokenbaby: :-[
What the hell is wrong with me? I passed my stbxh's car at a house where I've never seen it before. We surely didn't know anyone there and now my freaking mind is whirling, who is he with, what is he doing, is that her, how could he replace me.
WTF is wrong with me! It's been six months and I just want to let it all go. I just want to let him go. I am so freakiing tired. But the thoughts just keep coming and my gut keeps reeling.
My god I don't want to do this anymore.
Re: Stop it!! LostTeacher: girl...deep breaths.
i used to do the same thing. sometimes i still. i am always on the lookout for the two of them together. i still get a little twinge in my stomach when i either see him, her, or the both of them together.
i am trying to think how to put this.....here's what i tell myself.....
does it matter who he is with? does it matter if that's her? does it make any difference? will it change what is going on between the two of you?
most likely...the answer is no.
for me, it was no.
it didn't matter who he was with, when he was with her, how much time he was spending with her. OUR life together was never going to be the same. i wasn't going to be happy with him, and nothing i was going to know or do was going to change that.
and that knowledge made me really think...i didn't need to know. knowing made me crazy. knowing made me more upset than i needed to be. i knew where my life was, and where it was taking me. knowledge is not always power.
it gets easier. but you have to see things a different way. believe me, as much as it killed me, i used to want to know everything. i used to want to find them together, hear stories about them. but now.....what difference does it make? it's not going to change my life anymore.
LT
Re: Stop it!! smokin: it rots. eventually they may go away. i cant say fully, cause i still have the "run her over with a front end loader" day, every now and again..............
Re: Stop it!! Peaceandquiet: You have to do like your title BB and just stop it. There is nothing there for you to worry about anymore.. there is no one left to worry about. His life is his and the best part is your life is now yours. I know its hard to see that he is moving on with his but over time it will be you that has moved on and him wondering WTF. It just sucks ass cause you feel like it should be you and not him that is enjoying something else, your the one that deserves the happiness and not the asshat parked in the driveway. Its time to seperate your life from his. Time to stop thinking of him as your ex and just another car parked in some driveway. You have to start gearing your mind to think like this.. It is no longer "our lives" it is now yours.. easier said than done I know.. but if we keep looking in the window of the shop of things we cannot obtain we do nothing but stand in the street as others in our life pass us by and glance at us staring at a window.
Re: Stop it!! NO DATE: I'll tell ya I felt like this once [ not about my ex wife"> she just sucked the life out of me so I never cared who or what she did after I got the hell out of there. but I did have a girlfriend about 15 years ago who stole my heart as no other has before or since, and she had two very cute daughters whom i also loved very much, oh how I loved her/them, you know come to think of I really still do! but here's the story...
We were going stronger than ever and all of a sudden things got weird or rather she got weird! I picked up nothing in the form of a signal that there was anything wrong at all, but out of the blue this girl just "shut me out" and to this day I have no idea why...anyway she ended the relationship and I was reeling with pain and I mean real pain, emotional anguish, pining for her, depression. Hell I could hardly get to work, Good God was it bad, I remember i called her to see if could sense if we could ever get back together and got a sense that she was only half listening to me {sound familiar?"> and after this waste of time phone call I felt WORSE!!! seemed my life just clouded up and I just couldn't pull myself out of it, so I tried everything to try to forget about her and try to move on T his was before the Internet boom so no ojar for Kenny! in fact no one wanted to even hear about her anymore, I burned everybody out on hearing about her, so I started practicing more and more {drums are good exercise and also good for taking out frustrations as well} I started going out with the guy's we were still young enough for that without looking stupid {I'm 41 now} did all of the meat market clubs etc. yet it never filled the void in my heart and soul I was denying my agony in a big way, so I thought hey! I know maybe I'll go clothes shopping i needed a new style anyway, so why not! I shopped for hours that day bought all sorts of new stuff and since I was well practiced on my instrument {no better feeling in the world btw."> I was starting to feel better! So as I was starting to leave the mall with that stupid half smile on my face {ya i got this bitch beat now, type face"> as I was walking I heard someone say my name, I couldn't locate where it was coming from and I heard it again and you'll never guess... it was her two kids on the other side of the mall walkway, you know [i just welled up myself just thinking about this"> well they were saying my name and waving at me and i was stopped dead in my tracks stunned as I stood and stared at them my heart sank to lower than it was before I started, to make matters worse they were with some other guy and it wasn't their father {I knew him} I just turned and walked away as one would do at a funeral {dear god i actually have tears in my eyes after all these years"> the picture is burned into my memory and I'll never forget it....EVER!... but life goes on and I needed to move on, no hope now of ever seeing my adopted family ever again, never see the girls EVER again, it was over and i knew it now. so I fell into a deep depression for a couple of weeks and lost weight looked sickly and did the recluse thing and I remembered I had better do something and one of the things I decided was I was never going to be within 30 miles of their house ever again {too painful} and no matter what I would head in the other direction need clothes? I shopped 50 miles away, need food?I went to a completely different town! I avoided their town no matter the cost! I HAD TO or knew i would reopen the wounds if there was another "siting" of them. and that's one way I helped myself out of the funk. life did move on time passed. funny, the two girls must be 23 by now they were only 7 and 10 at the time.... oh forget it... anyway I hope this story helps in some way,I really do. If nothing else I'm still here and I feel better than ever {except just now"> and you will as well! there will be times of sadness I'm not going to lie, but for now just do everything in you power to MOVE ON as painful and as tactless as that sounds you must! mind blocking..? first time I ever heard the term was on this board, I still don't know what it means but I had a system back then that I think helped and it may be a similar technique, everytime her or the kids started to enter my thoughts I would just picture a huge red X over the image in my mind and soon the images stopped coming, slowly mind you! but they did stop. keep your chin and your strength up I hear you and I feel for you {I gotta go now"> :-[
Click More for the next page.
