Desperate for some words of hope. .. drowning. . .: It's only been 5 days since we broke up. I'm in so much pain and I'm finding it so hard to just breathe. The only thing that's given me a glimmer of hope is this site and the kind and supportive people here. This is why I chose (for the first time ) to post - in the hopes of finding some kind of comfort. ..
People have told me that this unbrearable grief will pass in time. I know that. But that gives me no solace when I find it hard just to make it through an hour. I'm so lost. .. I don't know what to do with myself. I loved him so much and I still do. I know that this is the right decision but I just wish it didn't hurt so much.
I apologize for being vague. I will take the time at some point to elaborate. My mind is just in a haze right now. I can't stop crying....
If there's any of you that could give me advice, I would so greatly appreciate it. . .
Re: Desperate for some words of hope. .. brokenbaby: When I first got here I was told
Treat yourself like you have an illness, because that is essentially what this is. Spoil your body, nurture yourself and take a lot of time for YOU.
Cry as hard as you can, scream as loud as you need. Let it ALL out.
Welcome to Ojar and I am sorry you found us the way you did.
~BB
Re: Desperate for some words of hope. .. MikeB: First, welcome.... and let me tell you: You've come the right place!
Second: I feel your pain... I've been there... and a part of me still is.
The time it takes for a person to heal a broken heart depends on several things... but for the most part... it takes a long time...
Now the good news: In this healing-process you will gradually have less hours a day you feel as if you're going to bleed to death with the pain... then you will have less days a week when this happens... and so on.
For now, first you let it all out... cry, scream, smash things if you have to (but only your own) ... then try EVERYTHING to get your mind off things... read a really good book, watch a really funny movie... anything...
Try thought-stopping techniques... try conditioning yourself...
You were saying you know it was the right decision... so I take it it was you who left? (If so... then ask yourself what your feelings -ALL your feelings- are telling you about that decision...there's loss, there's emptiness, there's pain... but if it was your decision, then there have to be other feelings as well...realize all of them... and then evaluate your situation again)
My heart goes out to you
Take care,
-Mike
Re: Desperate for some words of hope. .. C-Note: Sorry you are here. Life does go on. There is no magic pill, but there is this place. Ojar is a great site. Anytime day or night your thoughts can be heard.
Breathing is a great place to start. As you say it's hard just to do that much. But soon enough you'll work your way up to eating and leaving the house and moving on with life.
Re: Desperate for some words of hope. .. AtaLoss: I'm so sorry drowning. I'm in the same boat as you right now. Just know that you're not alone. This site does help tremendously. It's a long road. We can all travel it together.
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