Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss AtaLoss: How can you get past someone that you told your every thought, feeling, hope and wish to? How do they just up and get rid of you? How do they lie right to your face and tell you that they don't want a relationship right now but you have proof that they've been talking to another woman online? How do you ever trust anyone ever again? When you've done nothing but get to know that other person, share your fears and your relationship likes and dislikes, tried so hard on both parts to treat the other the way they would want to be treated. Then they just turn around and do something they know you hate, like lie and cheat or whatever. How can someone who says they love you do something like that when they promised they never would? How can you ever trust anyone ever again? I don't understand. I just don't. He said that he didn't want a relationship right now but yet he's adding all kinds of women to his stupid ass MySpace account from his local area. I just don't f*cking get it!!!!!! I DON'T GET IT! God my chest hurts, I want to rip out my heart because I don't think I'll ever be able to share it again. I don't ever want to feel this pain again. I felt it once the first time but it's 100 times worse this time because his shit is here and I keep snooping which I know is only hurting me more but I just can't help itttttt. God I'm obsessed and it's driving me crazy. It's like this computer went from being the best thing in my life, the machine that brought me to my "soul mate" to my worst f*cking enemy. God I'm so depressed. I don't want to feel like everyone is two-faced. But that's how it looks to me now. How come I can't just find someone that is as devoted to love and committment as I am?????????
Re: Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss brokenbaby: Breathe.
and breathe again.
First, you HAVE TO STOP SNOOPING. All it is doing is hurting you.
Okay now that we have that out of the way. You will be able to trust and love again. It just takes so much time. Your heart is broken. That isn't a small thing. It's HUGE. Your entire world has been turned around and then flipped over and shaken.
You need to stop worrying about what he is doing and start worrying about YOU. You need to get out your anger. You know what I did? In my basement I hung two sheets of plastic from the ceiling, it looks like a bowling lane with walls. And I took every glass thing he ever gave me and I threw it at the cement wall. I screamed I cried, I used a sharpie and wrote words on it that described what he did to me or what I thought of him. (wear long sleeves and safety glasses). My point is do whatever you need to do to get the poisonous feelings out of your system. You are drowning in them.
YOU are what is most important now. Do whatever you need to take care of that important person.
~BB
Re: Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss drowning. . .: I know all about that burning you feel in your chest right now AtaLoss! I feel exactly the same way. . . But as bad and as hopeless as you feel right now, at some point you will find someone that will love you completely. It just takes getting through this pain to do that. I know that you can't see anything but pain right now - I feel the same too - but I'm positive that there is someone amazing waiting for you. . . . :)
Stay strong and hang in there. We will get through it together!
Re: Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss shocked: I'm feeling the same way.....perhaps we can try to be here for each other...this is a great community of people who reach out to each other...anytime you need to vent, I'm here.
Right now, I'm reaching out to family and friends and mostly God. It helps, but there are times of the day that are worse than others....sometimes I just break down, but everytime I get back up..that gives me hope, as well as hearing from those who have been able to move on and find someone who truly does love them.
Everyone says be strong and start moving on...all I can say is take it day by day, hour by hour...you've already been strong and you will continue to be...it's not easy, far from it...but lean on those who are there for you.
I'm sorry that you or anyone else is going through the same pain and heartache that I'm going through, but at least we know we're not alone.
Re: Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss stella: Sometimes it is very hard to believe again especially when someone who you trusted betrayed you. There are no words to describe the pain that you are going through because that man abused you psychologically. I know you feel angry, sad, and you are storing a lot of negative emotions. But if he lied to you and did you so much wrong, maybe he is not the man who you thought he was. He doesn’t deserve your love, time, or attention.
He sounds very immature and afraid to commit, or maybe just likes to have plenty of options. Men like that are empty vessels, with no true personality circulating for their next victim.
I know that in a sense you gave yourself to him, you opened up, and shared everything with him and right now you might think that it was wrong, but you shouldn’t. Be happy that you gave him something he can never give to anyone because one day he will find out that unlike him you are special.
I know that for every train there are passengers, and believe me there are plenty of men who are not two – faced and will want you, so do not give up because if you do, you might miss the train.
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