Re: Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss walkingzombie: it's really hard not to snoop, i think most women snoop, if the snoop is sniffing them in the face- they're gonna snoop
but i agree with the fact that all that does is backfire on us, so you might find condoms there, another woman's panties, another woman's phone number- how would you feel then?
really think about it- will it make a positive difference in the way you feel? No- I know because i do the same thing- you just have to know, you have to find answers, you need to find out...this one's hard, it's my problem too (when it stares at me in the face).
get rid of his stuff.
as far as the pain, pretend that you've been kicked out of your house and the door behind you was locked, are you going to sit there and beg and keep knocking? no, now you feel like a child left behind, you're wiping your tears, and you're going to slowly leave, you might be crawling at first because you're not strong enough to walk,
every breath hurts, and the tears don't stop, you're probably looking down, but you're crawling away from the door that locked behind you.
yes I believe you will love again- the most important thing right now is that you keep moving, whether you crawl, or walk slowly, you can't hang on to a door that's locked.
I think I'm going to read this and start taking my own advice.... :'(
Re: Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss icwtsmnl: I don't blame anyone for snooping. I know people say its wrong and that "if you can't trust your partner, then you shoulnd't be with him/her", but I don't follow that idealism.
people lie and cheat and a lot of them would never get found out if someone DIDN'T snoop. if you're not doing anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about if your partner snoops, right?
in my mind, i snoop to GAIN trust. its when i consistently find nothing suspicious that i gain trust.
seriously, people are not trustworthy. I see it everywhere.
Re: Ughhhh, I can't do thisssss DarrenB: [quote author=icwtsmnl link=topic=30043.msg298967#msg298967 date=1150484460">
I don't blame anyone for snooping. I know people say its wrong and that "if you can't trust your partner, then you shoulnd't be with him/her", but I don't follow that idealism.
people lie and cheat and a lot of them would never get found out if someone DIDN'T snoop. if you're not doing anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about if your partner snoops, right?
in my mind, i snoop to GAIN trust. its when i consistently find nothing suspicious that i gain trust.
seriously, people are not trustworthy. I see it everywhere.
[/quote">
Ok. Go ahead then and snoop to "gain trust". In the meantime your partner(who may not be doing anything wrong at the time) is building anger and resentment for being investigated and held under a microscope due to your unresolved trust isssues.
Snoop to GAIN trust, huh? If you have to place this condition on trusting someone, you believe people are generally untrustworthy, and snooping (and finding nothing)is the only way people can be proven completely trustworthy to you, then your relationships are bound to fail sooner or later.
