Re: How many more times can he break my heart? AMG: Thank you Stella and WatWat,
He is coming to town to visit with his family. So, guess he is a manipulator! I keep thinking that maybe this time, maybe things are really starting to sink in and that he will find it is not so easy to let me go. He says he doesnt understand how two people could share so much and then all of a sudden be out of each others lives. Guess he shouldnt have ended it then.
Really, I want to stop thinking! I can sit here all day and try to guess what is in his head, and I will never know. That is doing nothing but driving me crazy.
I am just so sick of hurting. We have a very long history and I wanted/want to spend the rest of my life with him. It is so hard just to let that go. I have never felt for him like I have felt for anyone. I know everyone says time heals all wounds. Im waiting!!
I feel so horrible. I have been so lost and it truely feels like I will never find my way again. It is like my future was suddenly stripped out from under me, and now I dont know what to do. At least I know I am not alone. I can make it through this even if I dont believe that right now. I cant image ever being over him.
Re: How many more times can he break my heart? stella: Hi,
I don’t understand if he truly means what he is saying or if you have become some fixation. I am not sure if this is the case, but in the last months even year of your relationship did you start having problems. Such as bad communication or often fights? Or did he suddenly decide to leave?
When you think of him, could you say that you and him are really good friends. If you never went out with him could you have been friends. If you first were friends and then found love, then it’s harder for both of you to move on and makes more sense to be friends (I don’t recommend it).
But you must ask yourself, how much love is there left, and how much pain are you willing to forget?
Unfortunately, hurting is a part of every ending in a relationship. If only we could have a pill, so we didn’t hurt, then it would have been easier for all of us.
I think that 3 years is a long time, a time when both partners connect psychologically. You have become accustomed to his presence, and now that he is gone you feel like life has ended and you cannot function alone. You probably think that your happiness is gone and life doesn’t make sense. I know that if he ended it, there must be a valid reason. Men often end relationships (especially long ones) for some valid reason (for them, not always for us) that was well planned and so you must know why he wanted to leave and why he did it. Do you agree with his reasons to leave?
Sometimes when you feel alone, often at night (a time for reflection) you might be tempted to call him and get back together. Just follow your feelings; they usually will not abandon you. If they tell you that he is saying the truth then they might be right. But if something in you, even a small part says that it is not right then do not neglect it.
Re: How many more times can he break my heart? AMG: Our relationship was awesome. So I thougth, he jsut told me it was too serious, we didnt have fun. I can name a million times we had fun. So I really dont know what he is talking about, but I guess that is his perception. He lives in NC and I live in FL. I was going to move up there in April to start a life with him, and he says he just freaked out.
We also make awesome friends. He says I am his best friend and he was mine too. We have known each other for 10 years and lost contact. When we found each other again we were friends for a few months and we started dating. If we never dated we would still be friends.
Our split was not mutual. He still maintains he is uncapable of giving me what I deserve. So that pretty much answers any questions. Ive just been really freaked out since he said, he needed to let me go. I thought he already had. But, I think he is talking of the friendship, not the relationship.
If feel like screaming. It is so unfair. I dont deserve this, I didnt ask for it, and I sure as hell dont want it.
Re: How many more times can he break my heart? stella: I am sorry that you are experiencing such a huge pain. If your shared countless of happy moments together, then the only problem as I see is the fact that he is not ready for a serious relationship or there is something else that he might be leaving out. When he says that it is too serious and you don’t have fun it makes me believe that you guys are young, probably in your late 20’s the least early 30’s. Or maybe he has had a huge problem in his past, maybe someone hurt him, or he has a bad memory of past serious relationships. If all the sudden he ends this relationship, then surely there are some subconscious motivations driving him. Telling you that you don’t have fun and it’s too serious is the every day line of a teenager boy and not of a grown up man!
Since it is not mutual, you are the one who is suffering more!!!
If you are really good friends, and know each other in detail, then by all means you know what he is thinking and what he wants. I hope that he knows what you want, and I guess it’s time to move on for good.
Friendship is very hard to find, but unfortunately very rarely does friendship continue between ex partners, and even if it does it will never be the same. I think that he knows this so he wants to give you up as a friend.
I have heard the line “I am incapable of giving you what you deserve” too many times. But you can’t ruin a happy relationship with those sorts of things. Maybe he thinks that you moving with him might mean that you guys want to get married. I don’t know if he was married before, maybe he is trying to sabotage the relationship. Or maybe if you guys are still young he doesn’t want to get tight up.
I know that you don’t deserve this and you don’t want it! Try to find some peace of mind, don’t let him go without a closure, and make sure he realizes how much he hurt you and how he will miss you.
I hope all goes well!
Re: How many more times can he break my heart? newts: Oh, the ex will keep coming back again and again and breaking your heart if you don't stop all communication.
By you even speaking to him means there is a chance for him to try to start up a friendship, friendship is not what you want, just tell him you need space, however, you don't want friendship from him and unless he wants to get back together with you well you are not interested in being his friend and just say "I hope you understand, and the next time you call me I will know it's because you want to get back together with me" and hang up, if he calls you and doesn't offer the relationship politely hang up the phone.
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