Someone please make this make sense SusanBaker: I'm new here and I haven't posted my story yet. Just been lurking the last few weeks. Seemed to be the way to get some perspective. I'm 30 and I've been married for almost 14 years and we just decided on a separation about 2 months ago. We still live in the same house, but because of work shifts we don't see eachother at all. I take care of everything. He pays me "rent".
Fast forward to the rant:
I get online and check my email today and I have this email from an online dating service. Subject reads: Swanflake28 you have 12 new matches. I didn't think anything of it, assumed it was spam. But when I deleted the message I was reading that was above it in my inbox it opened. It addresses me by name. And doesn't have an unsubscribe option. Curiosty got the best of me and I clicked on the link. It let me directly in to the account. I check the settings and it has all my personal information on it. Name, birthday, address, marital staus, everything, even a picture. I have never signed up for an online dating site, ever. I figure out how to unsubscribe, but it asks for a password to do it, so I tell it to retrieve lost password. I get the automatic email giving me the password and it's the standard, generic, throw away password that the spouse and I used for non-vital sites. I couldn't figure out who would do this. It's obviouse it was someone who knows me well. But, all my friends know my thoughts on dating and the opposite sex in general right now and wouldn't do that even as a joke. I may be jumping to conclusions, but I think the spouse is the one that signed me up for this.
Which begs the question, Why? He hasn't even moved out yet. He keeps telling me he'll change, he wants to work it out, blahblahblah, insert every line you have ever heard before. I asked for the divorce, but not because I don't love him or anything, it's a long story. I've told him that if he wants a cooling off period, rather than a divorce, that's fine with me. I have no desire to ever date again, so it's not like he's holding me back from moving on or anything. When this realtionship doesn't work out, I'm done. He knows this. So why would he do this? What could he possibly hope to accomplish, other than annoying me.
I guess I was fooling myself to think that we could split up with out all the childish bull@$%&. Still, I really hope this is as bad as he gets.
Re: Someone please make this make sense LNC: SusanB:
Wow, is very illogical ???. Maybe he wants to confront you about it and make it seem that somehow it is your fault (has a guilty conscience). Or maybe he is trying to work a case against you for when and if the divorce happens. I don't know what to tell you just hang in there. Best of luck to you.
-LNC
Re: Someone please make this make sense SusanBaker: You have no idea how much better I feel just to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this was nuts.
I just have to wonder if this is just a precursor to the divorce from hell. I truly hope not. Most of the reason he's stayed married as long as he has is that I never wanted to have my children have to go through an ugly divorce. I hate the childish, manipulative, mind game crap.
Re: Someone please make this make sense Lumpy: Could be a ploy to make it look like you've been cheating on him. Record all of this information. Maybe he's one of these weirdos who feels compelled to find you a replacement in order to alleviate his guilt. I'd say the first premise is more likely.
Re: Someone please make this make sense superwife: Sounds like he's definitely up to something.
That's just creepy and wrong.
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