Re: End of My Rope startingover: I think we may be doing a science experiment this weekend wendieann. ;)Thanks for the idea. Nothing else has worked, grounding, throwing things out (the stuff actually went to the trash) when I clean, stopped sleepovers, anything I can think of. This may actually work.
She's still mad at me I threw twister out last night.
Re: End of My Rope jillieb44: Throwing your children's possessions out is completely disrespectful. How would you feel if your significant other started throwing your things out because he/she thought your spaces were too messy?!
My mother threw my things out when I was a kid, totally emptied my closets and drawers onto the floor then forbade me to play with my friends on a saturday til I cleaned up the mess SHE made.
All it did was lead to my distrust of her, anger and resentment of her, and now that I'm 45 I don't even speak to her (as she still can't be trusted to do what she says she will).
What kind of relationship do you want with your kids?
Kids treated with kindness, gentleness and respect act with kindness, gentleness, and respect. You reap what you sow.
Jillie, whose kids cleaned the house yesterday cuz I was having a hard day, and I only had to ask -- once. ;D
Re: End of My Rope Peaceandquiet: Jillie I think your issues with your mother run a little deeper than just cleaning your room. ;D and I don't think that throwing out childrens stuff is disrespectful. If they are taught that if they don't maintain and care for what they have, then they, as adults, will continue with that mentality. Lets take Jugs car example over in the other thread.. if they do not maintain it, change the oil, wash it then the car will go to waste and I'm not driving my kids to work everyday when I'm 50. I'm not saying do it everyday and if you look in my orginal post I wouldn't even throw the stuff away, but I think there does come a point where a lesson has to be taught and sometimes it takes more than just calm relaxed tones to get them to see. I can say this because I am one of the most laid back parents you will meet. I very rarly raise my voice and never curse at my kids. And your right they do the same for me most of the time, but there are instances where a more firm approach must be taken and closing the door on the problem doesn't solve it all the time. Not trying to pick a fight just stating my side of it ;D
Re: End of My Rope jillieb44: Life teaches those consequences without parents having to artificially do it.
ie CDs or playstation games left out, not put away, get scratched and are then unusable. Just as if you don't maintain your car, you don't get to work.
How does tossing out their things teach them to maintain them? Honestly? It just reinforces the fact that you're bigger than they are and can do whatever you want to them.
If your spouse tossed your CDs cuz he didn't think you were caring for them properly, you'd be happy cuz he was teaching you to be more responsible? I think not.
Jillie
Re: End of My Rope startingover: I didn't go in with a wild hair and start throwing things away, nor would I throw away anything that is of value to her, that is just wrong.
I gave her every opportunity to clean her room and she has organizing bins for all of her things. She choose to allow her room to get to be such a mess and for some things to get broken by leaving them out. The items thrown out were items she wanted to save that were broken and had no home. Broken toys and scraps of paper don't need to be saved.
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