I thought he left, now why does he keep coming back?? bluskygrl: Exh and I have an arrangement where he takes the kids either before or after work each day so that they do not have to be in daycare 8-5 and saves money. The only problem is that he comes to my house in the morning to get them ready and he always leaves a mess for me to come home to - food, dishes, clothes, bathroom etc.... I decided this was better than getting them out of bed at 6 am.
Now he has moved 25 miles out of town (to his Dad's to save $$) and today he called to tell me that he was taking the children back to my house when he picked them up from daycare/daycamp at 4 pm and would be there when I got off in the afternoons too!!! I was taking from 3-5 off to get a nap - I was sick this weekend!
My alternative is him driving them out to his parents and then I'd have to drive out there. Which is not as much an issue as it is that his dad's house is a disgusting mess with a dangerously abandoned yard!
Exh knows how bad it is and admitted he didn't want the girls out there anyway because of this. But it may be next year before he gets his own place!!!!
So now I get the mess 5 days a week!!! Oh and does this mean all the meals will come from my house now?? And I will have to clean up if he decides to cook (always an issue) or make all meals myself??? I already do absolutely everything else for them!
Always looking for the silver lining - the good news is this does mean he won't be taking them overnight until he has his own house :)
But now he is in my house everday!!!! The very house and family he no longer wanted to have to deal with everyday!!! This must be a cruel karmic joke!
Isn't he responsible for figuring this out? Guess I'll keep training the girls to clean up......
Blu
BTW I gave him a Burger King gift card and made him take them to dinner tonight, the one with the playplace ;D
Re: I thought he left, now why does he keep coming back?? Peaceandquiet: Here's your silver lining. With them always being a your house it is the soild thing in their lives.. the constant.. the one place they know they will be safe.. the place where they are comfortable. take solice in that even though he may leave a mess he is leaving it in their house.. not his.. theirs.. which is yours. they will appreciate the fact that even though you had to come home and clean up you gave them the comfort of a home..
Re: I thought he left, now why does he keep coming back?? bluskygrl: P&Q,
You are so right and it is worth it to know they won't be spending the nights away with him anytime soon, and they won't be confused with two houses. I just wish I could get some physical space away from him to match the emotional space I have worked so hard at achieving.
And I work so hard to have a nice house I am exhausted and sometimes its the overall statement - Its like he is saying - "you divorced me and none of this is mine to have to deal with - so I still don't care what you think or feel or want!!"
Did I mention he works for my dad, in a business on the same porperty as my parents house??
But you are right, keep your friends close and enemies closer they say :)
Thanks for the perspective! Glad to see you posting again!
Blu
