sharing ? caring marc_ro: I usually regret it when I write this early in the morning, but I really don't feel like working yet (it is only 6:30a after all), so there you go.
I like to share. I like to share my possessions, my time, my experiences. sharing makes me happy. maybe it's because I'm a twin, so I grew up having to share *everything*. we actually worked out systems for sharing with time bonuses and decision trees, it got to be pretty complicated for a couple of five-year-olds. but my penchant for sharing has led to trouble in the past, especially with people that chose to take what I shared with them and use it against me. over time, I've tried to find a balance between sharing and guarding, but I still probably share too much. call it a vice.
my ex-wife likes to share too. maybe that's why we got along so well. but people (everyone, really) always felt the need to share with her, even people that didn't share much at all. but that's just her. I guess I'm the opposite, I like to share with almost everyone, but not many people feel the need to share with me. I do consider myself lucky that of all the people that shared with her, she wanted to share with me. and writing that is making me tear up a little, but I really need more sleep.
so what's my point? I don't really have a point. is sharing caring? I don't know, maybe when you're five, but thirty-two? when my officemate tells me he doesn't need to ask about my weekend plans because he already knows, it tells me I still share too much. and sooner or later I'm going to get burned (again), but I can't help it, it's in my nurture. and I don't want to stop sharing.
-Marc
Re:sharing ? caring Spectrum: Well, Marc, it is a sad fact that the people who actually care about things are the ones that get hurt if things don't go as planned.
Still, you should rejoice in the fact that you like to share... At least you'll go through life being the kind of person others like to be around. People will always see you for your better qualities, and whether they voice it or not, they'll appreciate it.
Spectrum.
Re:sharing ? caring incoherentlonghorn: Hey Marc,
Encountering people who like to share is an oddity today, so yeah to you!
One consideration to look out for is that sometimes people who consciously decide to give, expect or desire the same consideration. You have to keep in mind if you decide to be an exceptionally generous person that others will not behave in the same fashion, but that doesn't exclusively make them not givers, just less considerate than yourself...who knows.
Enjoy life to the point that you are content and not inconsiderate of others!!!
Hang in there,
LL
Re:sharing ? caring justmenow: My ex used to constantaly make me feel like there was something wrong with me because I am emotional and I care about things deeply. I also like to share and there's nothing wrong with that. However, there *are* limitations - my next door neighbor goes into details about her son's stages of puberty, which is WAY TMI... We just had a nest of wild baby bunnies die in my backyard and I was sobbing when we buried them. I won't apologize for caring.
I believe we are all wired differently because we all have a unique purpose on this planet. People like you and me probably wouldn't make a very good Army General because we care too much, we would probably really be bad at being in the FBI since you have to be so secretive. However, we would probably be good counselors, good coaches, good teachers, doctors, nurses, ministers, etc. because we care. There is a need in the world for the cold hearted and the emotionless, but there is also a place in it for soft, caring, emotional individuals. Embrace who you are and use it to your fullest potential. It has taken me months to begin to appreciate who I am and not try to hide it in shame.
Re:sharing ? caring lucyloo: Hey Marc,
There's nothing wrong with you. And yes, sharing is a form of caring, even at it's worst. It's really beautiful that you are a twin and therefore sharing is natural to you.
And you won't get burned for it.
Like she said- there's a need for caregivers- they make the better nurses, etc.
DOn't hide it, or try to change it. You can't change the course of nature. And it won't feel right to you, and cause you lots of pain.
But if you think you are too caring, or share too much, it is a good idea to make sure you do two things 1. Put yourself in environments and surround yourself with people who appreciate it and/or reciprocate it (Or you may become jaded) 2. for awhile, be in environments where being a carer is looked down on- like in corporate america, or the movie industry- say banking or mergers and acquisitions, or Hollywood- and learn what makes those people tick, study them and see how effective they are with sharing or not.
I think it's of major importance to be able to pick those people out of the crowd, and in a while, you can master their nonsharing language, if you choose to. That way you'll know when you're safe to share, and when you're not. This will allow you to operate with integrity while still protecting yourself. Then you can be friends with anyone.
Also, I've found that non-sharers, once they see that you're not some sort of nambie pambie, will open up, be more trusting, and actually be encouraged to share back. But essentially, they dont know about sharing and so are honestly leary of it at first. Enlighten them, I say. Everybody needs to share.
Lucy
