Don't Know What To Do Phoenix33: I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore. I found this message board and really have no where else to go.
My Story .......
I'm a 33 year man and have been married for 7 years going on 8 and have two wonderful children a boy 6 and my little girl 3.
My relationship with my wife is none existent. We have not slept in the same bed for years, sex is rare (maybe once a month) we have nothing in common and I'm at a point where I want to leave. I have thought about it for years and I have reached a point where I know that my personal happiness will never improve while I'm still with her. I'm the sole provider on a financial basis for my family and she is a wonderful mother to our children. But as a couple we are nothing too each other. I don't feel either of us are at fault in this we are just two different people and in hind site we should never of married (Should have listened to advice 8 years ago)
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ......
I love my children more than anything and I never want to hurt them but I feel like I can not continue to live my life like this forever. I feel so much guilt when I contemplate seperation and the pain it will cause just for my own hapiness. When you marry you think "this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with".... now I feel "I can not spend the rest of my life with this person"
I don't hate her I just don't love her ...... is it fair to her, me or our children to continue living a lie ....... help
Re:Don't Know What To Do Spectrum: Hey Phoenix,
Have you considered counseling?
I know this may seem silly, but I know that people oftentimes feel like you do, even when they still very much love their spouses.
It is easy to associate being unhappy with having fallen out of love with your spouse. Sometimes all you need is something to bring back that old rush of feelings.
All I can say is that you need to make sure this is absolutely what you want if you are going to do it. You don't want to start this process, only to find out that you still truly love your wife and want to make things work.
If you don't make every effort to fix your marriage before getting out, you'll always wonder if you did the right thing- especially when you're seeing your family and children hurting, which is an inevitable result if you take this step.
Spectrum.
Re:Don't Know What To Do jason_stl: Listen to Spectrum's advice.
Better to know that it didn't work but you tried rather than quitting the marriage and wondering every day what it could have been like had it worked.
