Idle Minds justmenow: Does anyone feel compelled to be busy constantly in order to keep their mind off of the current situation? It's like if I even stop for a minute all the pain comes back in a flood. If I keep busy and distracted, then I don't have to pay attention to how miserable things are.
On the bright side, I am very active, meeting new people and learning new skills. On the down-side, I am not facing the pain head-on and only exhausting myself. Anybody else in this situation? or am I just abnormal...?
Re:Idle Minds brokenman: Good morning JMN. You are definately not abnormal. My single face-to-face friend has been in the same place you are in. And he still is. After his divorce he joined every possible group he could. He owns his own business and has a lot of downtime from work. However, I could hardly talk to him because of his busy schedule. President of the children's soccer league. President of the City Commerce board. To top it off, he volunteered for any group or event that needed someone. I don't know how he did it.
I think your need for distraction will fix itself. The more "out there" you are the more connections you will make with people and eventually, the depressing aspects of single life will become water under the bridge. I wish you the best.
Re:Idle Minds justmenow: Thank you, I appreciate your calm insight (as usual). I think I get too worked up over things and create drama where there is none. Don't know when/where that developed in my character - that was not a quality I used to admire in people (still don't).
I guess there's nothing wrong with staying busy. Maybe somewhere within all of these activities lies the ability to make a difference...
Re:Idle Minds in_search_of: JMN, I do the same thing, I spend exhorbitant hours of studying, I go out too much, I spend time volunteering for everything that I can possibly volunteer to help for.
I think it is my way of facing the pain, a way to find a way to be my, learn new things, find things to do.
And I have a 6 week whirlwind trip planned to Europe... But you are definitely abnormal. I think it is a way of finding out who you are and what you like and want to be doing.
I too feel like I am using all that to hide from the pain, I have spent a lot of time hiding from hit, from one night stands to short term non meaningful relationships, to spending all my time working to just finding a million things to do, but through all of that I have managed to do some healing because I had time off this weekend, and for the first time, all the pain and hurt and disappointment didn't come flooding back. It didn't run me over and make me feel washed over.
So maybe this is your way of healing and facing up rather than a way to hide from it.
And, as you find things that you really enjoy and determine which ones you really don't you are likely to drop some activities and spend more time with the ones that you really like!
Re:Idle Minds barelybreathing: Its a catch 22. Staying busy helps you move on. Being idle cause you to dwell longer.
But on the flip side, if you are too busy, you don't address the issues properly and are destined to revisit the pain. If you allow yoruslef some idle time, then you can heal.
Balance is the key my friend, balance.
You are fine and are perfectly normal.
BB
Click More for the next page.
