What to do when your child... brokenman: What to do when your child witnesses a terrible argument at your ex's house?
Well, the question may seem obvious to answer, but I want to make sure I am not overlooking anything. My ex and her boyfriend had a huge argument last night. Luckily, my ex brought our daughter to me in the middle of it. But from what my daughter wanted to tell me, the OM came home drunk and stoned. This resulted in a lot of swearing, threatening and yelling. While my ex was terribly shaken any crying my daughter was frustrated and concerned for her mother.
Now, I tried to talk to my girl by asking the obvious questions. Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Did he hit anyone? And most important, Do you want to talk about it or do something else? So we did something else for a while. She started to talk a little.
So the argument began over drugs and alcohol and turned into a "get out of my house, I hate you" thing. Apparently, the OM forced my ex to bring our daughter to me. I am not sure, but he told them to get the fork out and not come back. Our daughter tried to invite the ex to stay at our house, but thankfully I didn't even need to tell her no. She knew what my answer would be.
Anyhow, am I overlooking anything? My little one seemed fine this morning and wasn't too concerned or appear to be traumatized. I just wish she didn't have to go over there ever again.
Re:What to do when your child... justmenow: You did all the right things. You're a good Dad from what I know from our conversations, and she sounds like a loving and caring little girl. You must have done something right along the way... She is very lucky to have a Daddy that cares so much.
One of my favorite sayings:
"Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy."
Re:What to do when your child... brokenman: Thanks JMN.
And as an update, my ex picked up our daughter from school yesterday as scheduled. And all I can say is, I am thankful that she didn't take her back to her house. They stayed in town until she could drop her of with me. I guess the storm clouds are still brewing over there. I have to admit, I am glad she is having trouble with that pile of garbage. Too bad my daughter got caught in it.
Re:What to do when your child... Sharp: All I can say to you with all the posts I've seen you leave so far is you really are doing an excellent job! Kudos to you as a dad! I hope you get to spend some quality time w/your girl on father's day?
Re:What to do when your child... Discarded: This is one area that frightens me, stbx having strange men over with our children in the house also. I know what she has been doing and I know that her choices at the bar for picking up men are poor at best, but that won't stop her.
I wish I had alot more control when our children visit her, but that doesn't seem to be possible.
At least I did get primary parent in the Temporary orders so maybe (hopefully) she will not have strange men over while she has our children during visitation, but I don't even hold alot of hope for that since I was finding cigarrette butts in the back yard when I was living with her which means that there was someone over there after hours and I was at work. Sure wasn't any lipstick on the butts.
Main thing I think is that you're going to have to teach your daughter the correct way that women should act and the importance of being faithful. She is going to look at her mother for guidance (only natural) and you don't want her thinking that it is perfectly acceptable way for mothers/wives/women in general to act.
I don't know the age of your daughter, but I know my daughter watches/listens to everything even when you don't think she is.
Take care brokenman and keep your head held high, we can only control so much and try to protect our children so much. Some things we can only try to correct and/or minimize the damage done. Moral Integrity isn't something the courts look at much if at all.
I know I am not looking forward to this when my stbx starts this which I figure will be fairly soon. She won't want to use a hotel room now as the house is perfectly safe and she knows that I know everything.
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