Re:What to do when your child... Discarded: Oh, Brokenman one thing the courts really frown upon and may give you alot more leverage for your daughter while she is at the stbx's or ex-wife is Drugs. It doesn't matter whether the ex or her BF are using the drugs. They will only look if your daughter is in a harmful situation which a drunk/stoned person is definately potentially harmful. You can have your lawyer run the BF for history or try to get proof of the drugs - I doubt they will question your daughter about it directly for many reasons, but PI or lawyer and criminal history may be a very good option although expensive.
Just a thought : )
Re:What to do when your child... barelybreathing: As a parent, it is so hard to not intuitively protect and shelter our children from "drama".
We can only control what we can only control. Unfortunately, when your daughter is with your ex, you are not in control.
The only thing you can do is provide a safe haven for your daughter, as you are now, and talk to her about the right kinds of behavior as opposed to the wrong kinds of behavior her mother is exhibiting and involved in.
I know that often in temporary orders "only", you can often request that your child not be in the presence of your ex's boyfriend. Perhaps if drugs are a real issue here, your situation will warrant something like that?
I am so sorry brokenman, the consistent diffusions you are having to battle are daunting I am sure.
Your ex, is being very selfish and very shameful.
Your daughter is so blessed to have you in her world. Justmenow's quote is right on.
BB
Re:What to do when your child... down2basics: BB hit it right on the nose - all you can do is provide a safe haven that your daughter will eventually gravitate toward. No child wants to live in pandemonium all the time. Shame on your ex for allowing it.
I've been divorced now for over two years and one lesson I've learned (the hard way!!) is that NO ONE comes in and wrecks the lives of my children - NO ONE! My two are small, impressionable and gullable. I will not tolerate someone coming in and wreaking havoc in their home. Home is where they should be safe from harm and that's exactly what I'm going to maintain.
No matter how lonely I get, I keep this in mind. I must always do what is best for my babies first as well as do what is best for me. The two must mesh or there will be neither.
FWIW!
d2b
Re:What to do when your child... Safetykc: Right on D2B!!! :D
You said it just right. Take care my tea-sipping friend!
Big Hugs
Safety
