I made it through yesterday . . . . BobFromAcctg: and it would have been my 26th wedding anniversary. A rough day at best.
However, I made a call to my old pastor and posed a question to him about my stbxw. She keeps saying that "this (the divorce) is not what she wants" so I asked him "If this is not what she wants, why has she not even called me in 11 months to ask if we can work this out?". His response was amazing to me.. He said that he thinks she doesn't want the divorce but she knows that she screwed up and the amount of work it would take on her part to fix it, is too much for her so she will let the 25 year marriage die. Amazing. He then said he asked her this:
"If you didn't want him around during the marriage and you showed him this by not wanting to talk to him in the morning and at night. You didn't have to work but yet you had to have time to yourself when we was around. You made sure you didn't have to make love to him more than three times a year and yet he says he was still supportive and loving and patient and kind..and yet you pushed him away? If this is all true, then why are you upset because he is really just giving you what you wanted?".
He said she kind of slowly bit her lip and just nodded gently as though she agreed 100% with what he said.
Amazing..but I felt so much better that he knew I had worked and worked and worked to keep this thing together and there was nothing else I could have done.
So..while it was a bad day in that it was the anniversary, it was an ok day because I had that conversation with him.
Re: I made it through yesterday . . . . snkpack: You know you've always been a gentleman in my book. I'm sorry you doubted yourself. She never properly appreciated you! :-*
Re: I made it through yesterday . . . . thejoker: WOW BOB...
I guess I feel better cause mine left after only a year and half but same scenario.. I would have stuck it out forever too... SOB... damn what fools we are
Re: I made it through yesterday . . . . flyaway: Bob....it is sweet to know that someone on the outside (besides us ::) ) KNOWS.... knows that you tried. Tried. Tried. And you could only do so much.
hugs.
Flyaway
