My Breakup Vent feelin_heartbrkn: [color=green"> I haven't cried in about two weeks. But I feel another crying "phase" coming on. Just when I think i'm doing better I start feeling depressed again. I don't have the nervous stomach anymore but I still don't have any energy and I keep eating. I stopped going to the gym because of the fatigue. :'( I've been so lazy and depressed. I feel so lonely.[/color">
I found this website, registered weeks ago and this is the first time i'm "venting" about my situation.
My story:
Recently broke up with my bf of 9 years. I've actually known him since I was little (about 9 yrs old). We started dating when I was 19. It was a rocky relationship from the beginning. He was my first love, my first everything. He has hurt me so much over the years. He's made me cry, and made me feel so worthless in the past. He never truly appreciated me. BUT I still hung in there and tried to make things work.....because I loved him so much. In the beginning he made me feel so bad that I even tried to committ suicide. Everytime I left him he cried and came back begging. And like a fool I would take him back everytime. He's been my #1 weakness. He's been like a drug addiction. The past few years weren't so bad. Fights here and there but nothing major, and we were getting along so well. He kept telling me that we were going to get married and move in together but it would never happen. I put a little pressure on him earlier this year and finally in May he proposed to me. It was the happiest day of my life. I called everyone to tell them. My parents, friends, co-workers. EVERYBODY. Then a few weeks later he began to act controlling, arrogant and aggressive. And then he dropped a bomb he told me he wasn't planning to move in with me anytime soon. He would get mad when I would ask him about setting a date for the wedding. He didn't want to talk about anything that pertained to our wedding plans. He started to tell me things that I didn't need to know. Things about women in his past. I felt disgusted and extremely dissapointed. I knew it was all too good to be true.
I have done nothing to deserve this treatment. I gave him my love and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and all he's done is treat me like shit and take advantage of me.
I'm pretty, mature, educated, smart, I have a career, i'm independent, traveled, cultured and talented. Him, on the other hand, dropped out of h.s., drinks everyday, lives with his parents, doesn't have anything to show for, and is very immature.
I can't UNDERSTAND why he can't committ and why he doesn't feel the same way about me after soooooo many years. He would tell me to my face how much he loved me and wanted to be with me but his actions didn't show it. I haven't spoken to him at all. It's over. I left him. I can't be with someone who isn't ready to take the next step and committ to me. I just can't. I have to have some dignity. I have to accept that "he's not the one" and move on. But it's been so hard and everyday i've tried to stay strong. I am extremely depressed and lonely.
[color=purple"> THANKS FOR READING. [/color">
I really wish I could find a support group in Chicago.
Re: My Breakup Vent sosad05: First, I'm sorry you're hurting. You'll find a great support group on this website.
[quote"> I gave him my love and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and all he's done is treat me like shit and take advantage of me.
[/quote">
Is this really the type of man you want to marry and spend your life with? You are lucky that you are realizing this now and not dragging children into it. I dont want to minimize your feelings, because I know you are hurting. It sucks. It sucks when the one you love is such an a*s. All of my friends/family DIDNT want me to marry my xh, but I did it anyway at the young age of 21. Now, 10 years later, I went through a horrible divorce and drug 2 innocent children through it. I wish I would have listened to my friends/family then.
Make a list of all the bad he's done to you. Remind yourself. I know it hurts now but trust me...you would rather be going through this then an ugly divorce with children.
Re: My Breakup Vent smokin: hello, and welcome to the vent section, the tickets are free, and the words priceless...........lol
you need to cry, and cry more, to get it out of your system. some times it helps. cause eventually theres no more tears to weep.......
remember, sometimes its all about THEMSELVES..... no one else matters........
vent away, and it is thereputic...........
Re: My Breakup Vent Roseville: Feelin,
Welcome. My first thougt after reading your post was that he was so controlling over you to give himself some kind of validation. He was getting something from knowing that you were much more educated and all the other things that you said, and here he is a HS drop out and he can boss you around. Now that's a power trip!
People like that don't change. He's got a hangup on your successes in life, and his failures. I don't think that those would have ever changed, so just consider yourself lucky that you never married him after all, and (can't tell for sure from your post) but be grateful that you didn't bring children into it.
Hang in there - go out an make yourself MORE...MORE successful and educated, and everything he is not. Success is the best revenge there is.
Re: My Breakup Vent candi: I WISH WE COULD TALK I AM GOING THROUGH THE IDENTICAL SITUATION WHEN YOU READ THIS PLEASE TRY TO GET BACK TO ME I DONT HAVE AN ANSWER FOR YOU BECUSE I DONT HAVE ONE FOR MYSELF I THINK WE PICK MEN THAT ARE BENEATH US BUT WHY DONT THEY JUST WANT US PLEASE WRITE SO WE CAN TALK IM GOING THROUGH HELL RIGHT NOW .MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER
