Any suggestions??!!! shocked: Many of you may or may not know my story...I'm sure you can scroll through and find it if need be...I need some advice...any suggestions or opinions would be extremely helpful.
My husband of 1 year (we dated for 8 years while in school), has cheated on me and wants a divorce. The kicker is that I just helped him move to New Jersey to start his medical residency and I'm in Illinois (he obviously did not land an Illinois residency).
I found out he cheated the day after we celebrated our anniversary. At first he sounded like he wanted to reconcile...then he called me at 2:30 in the morning and said it wouldn't work...we just aren't meant to be according to him...we've been together since undergrad and medical and law school...but that's besides the point.
I mean, I feel cheated that he didn't even give me the opportunity to decide whether or not I wanted to work on it....what P*&^%# me off and hurts at the same time is the fact that this is going to be a "long distance divorce." I mean, how do you divorce someone like that....will we never see each other again? It can't possibly be healthy for either of us to leave things like that could it?
I just need closure....I need him to man up and face me, and then it'll be somewhat easier to move on....any suggestions on how to get him to face me rather than run from his problems? any other thoughts?
Re: Any suggestions??!!! twine: he won't face you because he is ashamed and embaressed by what he did. And i think you should let him continue to feel that way, If he faces you he will also be able to close that chapter which means no more guilt or embarassment. I know this may be crazy but i do find a little peace in the fact that i know my stbxw can't face me because of what she did
Re: Any suggestions??!!! sosad05: Hi shocked...I do recall your story.
You may not ever get him to face you. He probably feels guilty and doesnt want to face you.
Your closure may have to be what you do for yourself in dealing w/ the loss. I wish my xh would move out of the state so I never had to see him again. I think the physical absence would make it easier. But, I know the grass always looks greener on the other side.
PS-Make sure you get a good atty and get some money from the years you put him t/ residency.
Re: Any suggestions??!!! LNC: I agree with twine and sosad, he is ashamed and guilt riden that he can not face you. Let him suffer in his guilt...but take care of your self. Sometimes writting helps, put it all down in words but don't send it, just burn it so you wont read it again.
just my 2 cents
-LNC
Re: Any suggestions??!!! shocked: Thanks for your thoughts....he's pretty big on "image" so more likely than not, I'll have to find some other method of closure as suggested...it's just that when you do so much for a person you know, and he or she can just run away from it all...it's just not right...life isn't fair, but why should good people have to do the suffering?
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