one year post-break-up Disappointed: It's hard to believe it's been a year, and yet not so hard because the anniversary seems to be playing on my subconscious. I haven't posted here in several months because school kept me busy, and I started dating a nice guy. The nice guy and I weren't destined to last, which I could always tell, but his transfering to a school across the country (we're grad students) this summer has officially ended things. That break-up got me to reflecting about how much has happened in a year. Two years ago at this time, I graduated from college and cried my eyes out when my boyfriend of then 4 years and I decided to spend the year apart before moving back to the same city for grad school, at which point we would get married. Last year at this time, I found out from his friend while stranded at another of his friend's wedding in a tiny town in the deep south that during that year of long distance, he my quasi-fiance had been sleeping with his high school girlfriend. At that moment, five years of devotion, sacrifice, passionate, passionate love, and preparing for marriage went down the toilet. OK, then another year passed. I met a nice guy. We had some nice times together. Now that's over. Everyone in my department at grad school is married, even though we're all in our early-to-mid twenties. I'm so jealous of them. They get their reading done faster because they have spouses to lean on when school gets too stressful to make room for life. They have emotional (and financial!) support and someone to talk to and escape academia with. Four of my friends got married this summer. Everyone in my family is wondering, hinting, smiling so big whenever I bring a guy to Thanksgiving...
I still dream about that five-year guy. Usually it's a horrible dream, either replaying how I found out about the affair or just the two of us screaming at each other. Last night, I guess because of the nostalogia that this anniversary has brought up, I had a nice dream, as I used to when I thought we'd be together forever. Also, because this second guy and I never really clicked, I realized how deeply in love with the first guy I was. I miss that, and fear that I've already had, and lost, the love of my life.
Re: one year post-break-up Feel: You are feeling lonely, all your friends are with someone and your not...
You are so young why would you want to get married... you are free to do waht you like, travel, go out when you like, meet and date different people.
Visit your friends see whats really going on, you never know if the grass is greener on the other side!
Stick it out, you will meet someone soon...
Re: one year post-break-up confused101: Graduate, get a good job, then worry about the guy. Something tells me you'd be a helluva a catch, and won't have any trouble having the life you want. Just gotta be patient. It's not like you are 45 and have a few folks with tons of baggage to choose from. Some of the married folk are probably a little envious of you, no kids to deal with, no relationship stresses, can do what you want when you want. No one telling you when or when you can't go out.
Enjoy your youth. You have plenty of time to settle down. A mistake I made is not solidifying my future before I settled down. Throughout college I had to fight to make ends meet, couldn't study much because I had a family to take care of (full time work), and had to take others into consideration when I graduated as to where I could take a job at.
Re: one year post-break-up Disappointed: Thanks. It's true--you never know what's really going on in people's lives. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Best wishes to everyone.
Re: one year post-break-up fiona: The majority of the marraiges that fail are to people who are under 25 when they are first married. Don't sweat it. The past is dead and when we think about it (become 'stuck in it'), we're half dead. Look to making a happy future for yourself.
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