Re: If you love something set it free... LNC: Walking:
I too came to that realization a couple of weeks ago. I love my STBX wife so much that I can not wish her any unhappiness. I wish she could be happy with me but unfortunatly I have also contributed to the demise of our marriage and accept my downfalls. I am only human and although we bearly have one week physically separated, I miss her and long for the conversations. I pray each night something I did not do, not for me but for her and my kids. I truely wish that she will be happy in her next relationship. I however am not and dont think I will ever accept her back in my life. Although she was my best friend, I have to find the strength to just make her a friend. I am very conservative and have high standards of my friends that I associate with. My focus is to move on and fix myself for my next relationship, whenever/if that happens. I am content with myself for now.
-LNC
Re: If you love something set it free... JNA: [quote author=alonewith2 (SNB) link=topic=30528.msg303564#msg303564 date=1151120989">
But what if they aren't happy with the other person? This is what always kicked my ass...knowing he really wasn't much better off than he was before. In fact, he was worse off.
[/quote">
That's when you realize they leave messes all around them...
My ex will not be happy with "Anyone"
Because she is not "Happy" with herself...
She just runs from one to the next...That's all
He does the same ok...
JNA
Re: If you love something set it free... Lumpy: I hate to rain on your altruistic parade here Zombie but I think there's one aspect that you may not be factoring in. That's time. How long has he been with her? One month? Maybe two? Only time will truly tell whether or not they are truly happy. You're probably seeing the honeymoon phase at this point.
Re: If you love something set it free... Lance: [quote author=JNA link=topic=30528.msg303569#msg303569 date=1151121599">
[/quote">
That's when you realize they leave messes all around them...
My ex will not be happy with "Anyone"
Because she is not "Happy" with herself...
She just runs from one to the next...That's all
He does the same ok...
JNA
[/quote">
Same here.my wife is living with her boyfriend two blocks from me. She came over here an emotional wreck a month ago because her situation is playing out exactly as I told her it would. She is a runner. She is living in a chemical-filled bubble. She is willing to take the cop out-role other than face things and try to work on herself.
See, I do realize that it very well might have been exclusively my actions that drove her away, and my actions stemmed from the lack of communication we suffered from. Although we were still touching base and having some good times together, they were becoming too few and far between. Trust me it still hurts when I drive by their place, or when I see them walk into the bar and they see me and turn around and leave. (I don't go out much because of this). He knows he is a P.O.S. for this, and she knows what a huge failure all that we have worked for became in one fell swoop. I am training myself to stop focusing on her, little by little each day. Yes I am still depressed sometimes (okay alot) because I put so much emotional value into this at the beginning of our marriage and then it just slid off. I really would do anything today for her, when she came over that night, I was still foolish enough to offer my hand in assistance to her, if she was so unhappy with him. Yet she is still with him, as troubled and lost as she is at this point. I really do try to tell myself that I will get through this, that I will be happy someday. I just still can't come to grips with the person she has become and how if I'd have used foresight I could've stopped this from happening. But like the OP said, and I have told myself at times during these long 6 months..."If you love something, you HAVE to set it free."
I still love her so very much... and I really wish I could help her... but this is the only way, I know.
Re: If you love something set it free... trapped: I struggle with this one too.
I so very much want my ex to be happy and fulfilled. So although I don't like it and I don't want it I suppose if in order for him to feel that way that it has to be without me then I need to let him go. I don't want to be the one holding him down.
And then there's the selfish part of it...if he has a miserable life then wasn't all my pain for nothing? So I hope he realizes all his dreams and has a happy and healthy life partly because I've always wanted what's best for him but partly now too because if he doesn't, well then all my agony was for nothing. Then we both have lost. It would have all been in vain.
I hope theres a way for me to be happy again one day too though.
And of course all this goes without saying (even though I'm now saying it!) that if I could have had my way then he would have been able to have a happy and fulfilled life WITH a happy and fulfilled me.
I'm glad for you that you're at the stage your at. That you feel at peace with the breakup now. I'm not there yet but hope to one day soon be where you are as well.
Click More for the next page.
