Re: Help Me I Have Failed!! gstrait1fan06: I have tried hard to realize that it all cannot be my fault. It takes two to make a marriage and it takes two to break a marriage too. But everytime I talk to him I get told if you would have done this or done that we would never have gotten to this point. So how do I deal with the fact that I feel like it is all my fault.
Dee
Re: Help Me I Have Failed!! yella: That's just his control to make it your fault because he hasn't come to grips with what he's done. It's a natural reaction to something someone knows he/she is guilty of and hasn't yet come to grips with.
The best thing to do now is not talk to him unless it has something to do with the kids, so there's no emotional control.
Re: Help Me I Have Failed!! thehitekrednek: Smiley's right, break contact, he is using your guilt to control you. Take care of you first now, you can fix the things you feel were your fault, but by no means are you at fault for the relationship dissolving.
Re: Help Me I Have Failed!! fkunone: [quote author=Dee link=topic=30534.msg303126#msg303126 date=1151070948">
I have had very rough week, I have found out that my stbxh has started sleeping with an older woman. Then I made the mistake of contacting him by text message and phone last night to talk about how I still love him and miss him. Only to be told that he does not love me and does not miss me. What did I do in my life to become such a failure?
[/quote">
Failure is for losers. You're not a loser. You're getting back up and trying again. You better.
You didn't fail. Sh*t happens. And because things finish, doesn't mean you failed.
Life's full of starts and stops. It's a checkered flag, prepare for the next race.
Re: Help Me I Have Failed!! gstrait1fan06: If he really wanted the marriage to work out, he would have told you about these things BEFORE he gave up and given you a chance to work on them. To just leave and THEN tell you how you could have made it work.
Make a list of what HE could have done to make it work and make sure you include keeping his male sex organ inside his pants.
[/quote">
Fleur,
As far as that goes we have had our differences in the past and we have tried to work them out but just don't seem to work but he keeps insisting that if I had only listened to him and worked my issues out we would not be here now. Also as far as his male organs go he thinks he did good because he had more then enough opportunity to go astray over the last year but he waited until I moved out. So again what makes him think it is still okay?
Dee
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