Finally My Story!! gstrait1fan06: I am have been on this great site for a little over a week now and I have read and responded to some of the things you guys have posted. This morning I decided it might be best to tell my story and get it off my chest. To begin with my ex and I have been together for almost 12 years and married for 7 years. I am a busy person with his daughter, and a little girl we are adopting. I am full time college student, work full time and I have two girl scout troops and a softball team. I stayed very busy which ended up being the start of our downfall. My ex claimed I never had anytime for him so he started hanging out with his single brother at a local bar. It started out as every other Saturday night then every Saturday night. In November he told me was "done" and did not wanted to be married anymore so I had to get out and get a place of my own. He still lets me see my stepdaughter but the state took the little girl that we are adopting and gave her back to her alcoholic mother. Then I find out he is sleeping with an older women but told me last night that he wants to move on with someone that he can have children with. I am unfortunately unable to have any of my own, he never seemed to have a prob with it before but now he does. I want to go back so bad and I just can't seem make him see I have changed and willing to do anything for him. Oh, how do I get over the pain of losing him forever?
DEE
Re: Finally My Story!! sheydp: You DO have a very busy life - I have been there... The truth is, though, he knew what you were doing, and that it was for your family. Did he ASK for more time? Did he tell you he was having trouble keeping committed to you with your schedule? You are NOT responsible for him moving away...
Also. Him saying that about having someone he can have children with... That was CALCULATED to hurt you. You HAVE children together, and were trying to get another one. He made that comment as a way to get you to feel bad and feel you couldn't satisfy him... that was a CALCULATED cut down... NOT someone who loves and cherishes YOU. You deserve so much better than that!!!
How do you get over the pain? Keep posting, keep reading, there are a million suggestions on this site... But you will find, you HAVE a wonderful life - you are an active WHOLE WOMAN, without his presence. Now, you also have a renewed commitment to relationships - if he can't see that, and become what YOU need too (someone who will not deliberately hurt you) there are many men who will be willing to benefit from his mistake. You will be ok!!! (It just takes time.) ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Shey
Re: Finally My Story!! gstrait1fan06: Shey
Thanks for that I needed it. ;D, I know that he says a lot of things to hurt me and I just keep letting him do it b/c I feel that is the way to keep in contact with him. How can I love someone that treats me this way?
Dee
Re: Finally My Story!! sheydp: Loving is easy - you see the special good things in him... You will see them in others, too. Everyone is worth loving. The key is - loving does NOT mean you have to sit there and take a beating. You can love him, but not subject yourself to that. Walk away, calmly, knowing you loved fully, and can do so again. You want him, because you think that what you had was so special - but what is it now? Now he is doing this stuff, saying this stuff... that isn't special anymore. Time to look at the whole world and see how wonderful the rest of the world can be. Love him, sure, but don't wait for him to "change back" - accept who he is now - and realize that that isn't what you want or need.
Shey
Re: Finally My Story!! Feel: dee
I'm sorry u'r hurting, but did he ever come to you before to say he wanted to spend more time, or ask you if you needed help witht the kids to spare up your time?
I feel by him saying to you that he wants to have children was very selfish if you have been with him all this time and just now he says this...
I'd stand back and look at your situation, for yourself and children... maybe even see if you can get your daughter back.
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